The Machine Stops

Curbing the Apocalypse

2012-01-25T22:34:00.000-08:00

Back in September of last year I wrote a post on climate change and complained about there being a lack of good speculative fiction dealing with the issue. My friend and frequent collaborator, Ahimsa Kerp, politely suggested I read The Windup Girl by Paolo Bacigalupi (it only won the Hugo and Nebula awards—how could I possibly have known about it?). The book is set in the near future when the global oil supply is for all intents and purposes gone, and rising temperatures have resulted in higher sea levels and a global food crisis. Huge agricultural corporations hold the world hostage with their genetically altered seed supplies, and combat independent nations with designer pests and blights.

When you consider the mounting evidence of climate change and hear more and more about real-life corporations like Monsanto snuffing out local farmers to gain a monopoly on the world's seed supply, Bacigalupi's vision seems awfully prescient. Reading this great novel, along with having recently read Bill McKibben's Eaarth and State of the World by the non-profit World Watch Institute, I can't help but feel a greater urgency to make changes in how we live—to try and save the world from ecological disaster, or if nothing else, be more prepared when the apocalypse does arrive. So, without further ado, I present to you:

How to be Self-reliant and Environmentally Responsible (without being a pussy or dirty hippy, not that there there's nothing wrong with that...)

Step 1: Quit Buying Cheap Shit!

We've been conditioned as consumers to think that everything is disposable. Buy, use, throw away, repeat. While most people are aware that this fills up our landfills, the more pressing issue is the carbon dumped into our atmosphere thanks to the endless manufacturing and distribution of these disposable consumer goods. The solution is easy: quit buying disposable, cheap shit.

The most obvious culprit is bottled water. It takes about 47 million gallons of oil to produce a year's supply of disposable water bottles, and then there's the bottles themselves to contend with—only around 20% actually get recycled, leaving the rest to pollute landfills or add to the floating islands of trash in our oceans. Instead of drinking bottled water, buy a reusable water bottle and refill it (even tap water is equally clean as most bottled water). There are dozens of styles to choose from. Choose one made of BPA-free plastic, or better yet, pick one of the stainless-steel or aluminum varieties and you'll always have a makeshift club at your disposal.

And as long as we’re talking about potential weapons to utilize in case the apocalypse arrives, let’s up the ante and talk straight razors. I got fed up constantly buying replacement blades for my Gillette Mach 3. In addition to hitting my pocketbook pretty hard (seriously? a 3-pack of replacement blades costs twenty fucking bucks when the entire razor only cost ten dollars in the first place!??), there’s also gobs of waste packaging and the aforementioned manufacturing and distribution pollution. The alternative? A straight razor and all the accessories. You’re looking at dropping a couple of hundred bucks on a decent razor, whetstone, strop, brush, and shaving soap, but the cost is well worth it. A good straight razor will last you your lifetime and nothing makes you feel more alive than shaving your neck whiskers with a blade that can slit open your jugular with a simple twitch of your hand. Visit the super cool blog The Art of Manliness for a great guide on how to shave with a straight razor. (Ladies, though I’ve never heard of it before, I don’t see why you can’t shave your legs and ‘pits with a straight razor. If anyone has done this, chime in and let me know how it works.)

There are lots of other examples like these. The trick is to see what you throw away a lot and replace those items with reusable ones. Tired of plastic grocery bags? Buy reusable ones. Have a coffee shop addiction? Buy reusable mugs and cups and take them with you. Does your nasal passage manufacture too much snot? Start using a handkerchief. You get the idea.

Step 2: Embrace Your Inner Farmer

These days the term farmer has the connotation of being an inbred hick, but go hang out with any real family farmer and you’ll find one of the most self-reliant, knowledgeable people you’re ever likely to meet. In addition to growing their own crops, they raise animals (and know a thing or two about being a veterinarian), manage their water usage, and can fix damn near anything, whether it be a leaky toilet or a busted up tractor. I’m not saying you should quit your job and sell off all your assets to buy 100 acres and start your own farm, but there are a lot of little things you can do to become more self-reliant and lessen your impact on the environment.

Growing a garden is deeply satisfying, both the physical labor involved and the act of eating what you grow. After eating a home-grown tomato on your next BLT, you’ll never want to eat a tasteless store-bought tomato again. Some easy things to grow in a backyard garden are tomatoes, squash, peppers, and herbs. Do some research on what you want to grow and try it out. The first garden you grow probably won’t turn out great, but that’s the point, to practice and learn how to do it right, so when the world is reduced to a bunch of starving, cannibalistic scavengers, you can grow food in the safety of your stronghold. If you live in a more urban space, your options are limited, but you can still put together a hanging herb-garden like I did by mounting hanging brackets on a wall or the side of your house. And let me tell you, if you don’t have a hammer drill, you’ll get one hell of a workout drilling through concrete cinder blocks.

In addition to gardening, it’s a good idea to give some thought to your landscaping. If you live in an area that doesn’t get a lot of rain, it makes no sense to have a lush, green lawn. Replace your grass with plants that are indigenous to your area and are drought resistant. If your house gets bombarded by the afternoon sun, plant some shade trees. I also like to compost unused produce, leaf litter, and grass clippings. Chuck it all in a pile somewhere, mix it up occasionally, keep it damp, and—bam!—you have a ready supply of potting soil/fertilizer. I use the stuff in my garden and to green up dead spots in my lawn where the soil is bad or my dogs piss. (Yeah, yeah, I know I said to get rid of your grass, but I rent my place and don't have the luxury.)

Speaking of dogs, I got overly-ambitious and built a cesspit in which to dispose my dogs' turds (as opposed to picking them up and throwing them away in plastic bags, which essentially seals and immortalizes the poop). All I did was dig a hole a couple of feet deep, line the bottom with some gravel, toss in some cesspit starter bacteria (from my local hardware store), shovel the turds in, add some water, and throw an old garbage can lid on top to keep the poopy fumes from inundating the backyard. Not a bad solution to poop and other unsavory organic waste you don't want to throw in your compost pile and eventually your vegetable garden.

Other ideas you can steal from farmers include capturing rainwater runoff into buckets or a cistern to use for irrigation, and raising your own small animals: chickens (for meat or eggs), rabbits (for meat), or, like they do in Peru, guinea pigs. Mmmm, guinea pig burgers....

Step 3: Head Down to Barter Town

While you might get good at being a farmer, the fact of the matter is you will not be able to grow or build all the necessities you'll need to survive. To that end, it's smart to start shopping at your local markets, and I'm not talking the grocery store or lame-ass Walmart down the street. I'm talking farmer's markets, swapmeets, and such. Buying at a local market like this has several benefits. One, it supports your local economy. Rather than bitching about how everything is made in China or how politicians fail to create jobs, put your money where your mouth is. Buy stuff locally and the money stays local. What's more, you'll have bought stuff that doesn't have a huge carbon footprint from being shipped halfway across the world.

When it comes to buying produce and grains, take it a step further and buy organic, if possible. I know, I know, the stereotype is that people who buy organic are health food nuts, but that's not my reasoning for touting organic. Sure, it's healthier and that's all good, but more importantly it's made without fertilizers, pesticides, and fungicides, all of which are made from petroleum. Most people don't realize that all the chemicals pumped into foods grown on mega-farms are made from oil, but it's the dirty truth (another reason to compost at home and use the compost instead of fertilizer).

Perhaps buying local and buying organic won't keep modern civilization from toppling into chaos, but if nothing else, it'll give you the skills you need to strike bargains on the real open market, and it'll help you forge a network of locals you can band together with when the shitstorm arrives.

Step 4: Become a Mad Scientist

In addition to lacking a sustainable supply of food, the other two big issues our world is about to face are where we'll get clean water from and where we'll get our energy from. Might as well get used to using less of both now. With water, you can start with the water conservation methods I suggested in the farmer section. Beyond that, you can install low-flow heads on all your faucet and shower heads, swap out old toilets for low-flow toilets, fix any water leaks or drips you have, and simply start paying attention to your daily habits. No need to run the water while you're brushing your teeth. Refrain from taking those twenty minute showers. Use smaller load settings on your washer, and forgo the extra rinse. If you squirt off only a small pee (and haven't been eating asparagus), don't bother flushing the toilet yet.

With the energy issue, everyone already knows that we're addicted to oil and coal. The problem is figuring out what alternatives we have. Going electric is the most obvious answer, but for the time being, most of our electricity still comes from dirty, carbon-based sources. To reduce your electricity usage, there are a bevy of things you can do. Most electricity is used to heat water and to heat or cool our homes, so that's the first place to start. Wash your clothes on the cold water setting, turn your water heater temperature down a notch or two, install instant water heaters, or better yet, use a roof-mounted solar water heater system. To keep your house at a comfy temperature, make sure your exterior walls and attic are insulated, install double-paned windows, install good window coverings, and ease up on your thermostat. You don't need it to be 72 degrees inside when it's well over a hundred outside. In addition, update old appliances and use energy efficient lighting.

If you're feeling really ambitious, there are more drastic measures. Kick your gas guzzler to the curb and buy a Tesla supercar. Give the utility companies the finger and install solar panels on your roof. Install a windmill if it's constantly windy outside. Have a creek on your property? Try out some hydro-power generators or an old fashioned water mill. And if you're really crazy, build a Tesla Generator for “free energy.” Sure, the websites peddling guides on how to build one don't mention that your antenna will have to be the size of the Statue of Liberty to generate enough power to supply one house, but maybe—just maybe—you're the person who can modify it to be more efficient. Or maybe you're the one who can figure out cold fusion and keep the worldwide energy party going. I really do hope someone finds a miracle solution, but just in case, I'll be at home with my water bottle and straight razor, building better cesspits and growing tastier tomatoes.

-Garrett Calcaterra

Zombies, Excuses, and Miscellanea

2011-12-06T10:31:00.000-08:00

Gadzooks! It's been over two months since I've last posted a blog entry, so let me first of all apologize and get the excuses out of the way. My big excuse is that I've moved, which doesn't seem like a big deal at first, but considering that 1) I'm teaching six writing classes (and all the grading that entails), 2) it was necessary to integrate and make accommodations in the new place for two dogs and a cat whom had never met each other before, and 3) it was necessary to turn the garage into a studio/rehearsal space for my band, Wheel House, you can maybe sympathize with why I haven't had much time for writing. Hopefully. But no more excuses. The last two months certainly haven't been a waste and I'm hoping being in the new environment will be the start of a productive and successful period of writing.

Agent News!

As of yesterday, I officially have an agent for my novel Dreamwielder. The contract is signed and we'll start shopping the book around to publishing houses come January. The agent is also potentially interested in This Book is Sh*t!, as well as any future novels I have up my sleeve (including potential sequels to Dreamwielder). Needless to say, I'm very stoked and inspired to start writing my next book. And for the record, I pretty much followed my own advice when it came finding an agent.

Dysecotopia

After my last blog post/rant about climate change, my good friend and collaborator Ahimsa Kerp suggested I read The Windup Girl by Paolo Bacigalupi. While I haven't had time to read the book yet, I did seek out Bacigalupi's website, where I found this cool short story called “The Tamarisk Hunter.” It's not what you'd call uplifting, but rather a stark look at what the near future could be like for southern California and the southwest United States.

Real Life Dystopia

Having kept up with the Occupy protests across the US (and the world for that matter), and after reading this article from The Guardian, I recently quipped on Facebook and Twitter that I might as well start writing non-fiction rather than novels since the US is essentially becoming a totalitarian state. I'm sure some people scoffed at my remark, but a week later it turns out I'm not so far off from the truth. The US Congress has quietly signed into law the National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2012, which has two very alarming detention provisions (specifically sections 1031 and 1032) that empower the US military to arrest, torture, and imprison without due process anyone suspected of being a terrorist or terrorist sympathizer, including US citizens right here in the good ole U S of A.

I don't care whether you're a Republican, Democrat or none of the above, this is seriously fucked up. I think we can all agree that our politicians have proven themselves untrustworthy and loyal only to big money and special interests that give them the most campaign donations and insider deals. Do we really trust these yahoos to objectively differentiate between true terrorists and citizens exercising their constitutional rights to voice their dissent, organize, and protest?

Zombies

Okay, on to more entertaining and less depressing matters: the zombie apocalypse. Just a couple of random notes here...

I finally saw Return of the Living Dead, which is the origin of zombies clamoring for brains (“Bwains! Bwains! We want your Bwains!”). It's an 80's flick that somehow was better received than George Romero's contemporaneous Day of the Dead. It's certainly campy and entertaining, but unbelievably stupid and in no way compares to any of Romero's flicks. It's a movie all zombie fans should see once, but probably only once...

A friend of mine recently recommended this zombie short film called Zombie in a Penguin Suit. It's a great watch if you have 5-10 minutes to spare.

And lastly, I'm not totally sold on the second season of AMC's The Walking Dead. While the mid-season finale was pretty bad-ass, I feel like the episodes prior to that were very slow moving and our hero, Rick, has been annoyingly stonewalled from doing anything momentous. We'll see what the second half of season 2 has to offer...

-Garrett Calcaterra

Fahrenheit 2011

2011-09-27T12:54:00.000-07:00

It's September again, and for me that means back to teaching. Among the six classes I'm teaching this year, two of them are noteworthy—two classes that at first glance might seem unrelated, but to my mind are inextricably linked. The first is a dystopian literature course at the Orange County High School of the Arts. The second is a composition course at Chapman University, writing about ecology, in which we are reading extensively about the impact of climate change.

Amazingly, people the world over seem to think global warming is still a theory under debate, or worse, that it's a hoax. Let me be clear, there is no debate. This is no hoax. The data is overwhelming. There is no argument within the scientific community whether global warming is real. The only discussion is how bad will it get, and how can we curtail the damage.

It's not difficult to discern where the public confusion is stemming from. All you have to do is follow the money. 7 of the 10 biggest companies in the world are oil or energy companies, and there's still a lot of money to be made from ensuring our world economy is dependent on oil and coal. In the same way the tobacco industry outright lied about the health effects of smoking for decades, the oil and coal companies are spreading lies about climate change. So, is it any surprise that 9 of the 10 most prolifically published climate change deniers are directly linked to Exxon?

Along with these mercenary pseudo-scientists, we also have the guys who are so consumed with their politics and capitalist zealotry, that they're convinced global warming is a conspiracy concocted by the political left to scare the public into voting them into power, douche-bags like Larry Bell, who cherry pick individual statistics and take quotes from real scientists out of context to make it look like climate change is a hoax.

Yes, we are all entitled to our own opinions, but not all opinions are equal. I'll leave Bill Maher to explain it better than I can:

Don't get me wrong here. I'm just as happy as the next guy for the great conveniences oil has brought us. I love fast cars and motorcycles, I like being able to jet across the globe in less than a day (when I can afford it), I like to blast the A/C when it's stupidly hot outside, and I appreciate the convenience of having an abundance of readily available produce at the grocery store thanks to petroleum-based fertilizers. The party we've been having the last hundred years has been great, but like all parties, it has to end eventually. The world we've created for ourselves is in big trouble, and if the unwashed masses don't realize it soon and start making big changes, we're going to be in even bigger trouble.

All this leads me to ask: when the fuck is the new generation of novelists and short fiction writers finally going to write something worthwhile that really drives home the dire situation humans are facing? In the decades past we had George Orwell, Aldous Huxley, Ray Bradbury, Kurt Vonnegut, and dozens of other great writers who showed us the potential dangers civilization faced with their dystopian visions. And yet, here we are facing a very real crisis, and the writing community is silent?

Back in August of last year, after helping with the clean-up efforts of the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, I vowed to write with a renewed purpose, and the issues of over-industrialization and climate change have continued to be themes in my work. Industrialization and the erroneous notion that man can conquer nature is an underlying theme of Dreamwielder, the novel I recently finished writing, and I have several short stories and a new novel in the works that will make the issue of climate change an even more prominent component. But am I alone? I know I can't be. It's only a matter of time before the message gets out there—whether as an underground insurgence of short fiction, or the next best-selling novel. The thing to worry about is whether the people will take the message to heart, and whether it will be too late maintain civilization as we know it.

Either way, I'll be here, still writing what I think is important, even if my writing time is limited because I'm constantly having to fend off armed marauders in order to protect my little plot of organic farmland after the apocalypse. Hell, it even might be fun. Just because I'm a proponent of environmental issues, doesn't mean I'm a peace loving hippy.

Welcome to the World of Transgressive Fiction.

2011-08-30T23:43:00.000-07:00

This Fall I have two new short stories coming out in anthologies, one a high seas adventure forthcoming in Pirates & Swashbucklers (to be released on Talk Like a Pirate Day—Arr!), and the other a very odd tale in Fracas: A Collection of Short Friction, available now! As the editors describe it, Fracas is an anthology of transgressive fiction, a genre some readers might not be familiar with. So as a public service, here's the quick and dirty on what the genre is all about, as well as some reading recommendations from the contributors to Fracas.

The Lowdown: Transgressive fiction seeks to find meaning in the human condition by running roughshod over societal norms and exploring the extreme boundaries of existence.

The Protagonists: Addicts, criminals, sexual deviants, perverts, social outcasts, etc.

The Effect: Like watching the couple next door get in a knock-down, drag-out fist fight on the front porch, then hearing them go inside for some loud, raucous fucking—disturbing, but at the same time enthralling and thought provoking, if you dare let your mind go there.

Transgressive Authors and Books to Read (as recommended by the editor and writers of Fracas):

J. Travis Grundon, Editor: Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk, The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky, The Bus Driver Who Wanted to Be God & Other Stories or anything by Etgar Keret, The Acid House by Irvine Welsh, and Less Than Zero or American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis.

James M. Bowers: Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk.

Billy Brown: American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis.

Chance Chambers: "The 'Priest' They Called Him," the short story William S. Burroughs recorded with Kurt Cobain's distorted, feedback-laden version of "Silent Night."

Leslee Marie Schaffer: Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk.

John F.D. Taff: anything by Chuck Palahniuk.

Joe Schwartz: In a round-a-bout way I recommend Stephen King's pseudonymous Richard Bachman, most especially his almost prophetic story The Running Man. Before it was a completely over-the-top shit movie starring everyone's favorite Austrian, it was a damn good dystopian story that saw the future as a world of haves and have-nots organized via their impossible-to-turn-off TVs installed by a Orwellian shadow government referred to as the Network. Two things about that book. One, the chapters are given in reverse chronological order, that is a countdown. How finite. Second, when the twin towers fell on 9/11 I couldn't help but think of the ending to this book. On a sidenote, it is rumored that King wrote the fucking thing in a weekend high on cocaine.

Me: I recommend Fracas, of course, and also American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis. The book is seriously fucked up, but I couldn't put it down. Also, not sure if it counts, but maybe one of the first transgressive novels ever written, I highly recommend Hunger by Knut Hamsun.

Other notable transgressive authors to check out: Charles Bukowski, J.G. Ballard, and Anthongy Burgess. I realize there are no female authors on this list. Readers, please help me out here and provide some reading recs from female transgressive authors.

Miscellanea:

Check out this interview with me on Kameron M. Franklin's blog, Pens & Swords. Kameron is a fellow contributor to Pirates & Swashbucklers. In the interview, we talk about my pirate piece included in the anthology, as well as genre and why I'm sort of all over the place as a writer—spec fiction, literary fiction, transgressive fiction, erotica, you name it.

The Roads to Baldairn Motte, the fantasy novel I co-wrote with Craig Comer and Ahimsa Kerp just got its first full book review from Rogue Blades Entertainment. Reviewer Keith West says of the book: "All in all, The Roads to Baldairn Motte contains some of the best and most thought provoking studies in heroism at the individual level that I’ve seen in quite a while." Quite a glimmering endorsement, if I do say so myself.

-Garrett Calcaterra

Author Interview: Misty Massey

2011-08-09T11:33:00.000-07:00

Misty Massey is no bandwagon pirate fanatic who got turned onto the trend on account of the Disney Pirates of the Caribbean movies or by watching too many Captain Morgan rum commercials. Nope, she’s been fascinated by pirates since she was a kid, and her first novel, Mad Kestrel, carries on the rich literary heritage of great pirate adventures. Misty and I became acquainted several years back on an online forum where she was hosting a Q&A session. She happened to mention that the Tim Powers novel On Stranger Tides was a big influence for her, and I quickly bragged that I work with Powers at the Orange County High School of the Arts, and was myself a big fan of his work. She was duly impressed, and when my book The Roads to Baldairn Motte (co-written with Craig Comer and Ahimsa Kerp) came out, I more or less begged her to give it a read and write a cover blurb. She obliged, and once again her generosity has come through by granting her time to come chat here on my blog.

What follows is the inside scoop on a potential sequel to Mad Kestrel, who it is that makes her gush like a school girl, and some secret skills she’s been honing that’ll keep randy buccaneers at bay on the dance floor. Yarr!

Garrett: First off, how is the sequel to Mad Kestrel coming along?

Misty: (laughs) That's the question of the hour, isn't it? You wouldn't believe how many people ask me that every day (which is lovely, and I'm not complaining at all.) It’s coming along. I'm in rewrites, and frankly I've discovered a few things that I somehow missed in the first draft, making it a deeper and hopefully more satisfying story. I had hoped to be finished mid-July, but now it looks like I've got another week or so of work. The end is in sight!

Garrett: That's great. I'm sure a lot of people will be very stoked to hear you're so close.

Misty: That's why I'm not complaining. It's really ego-boosting to know that there are people who want to read what I write. As a writer yourself, you know how good that feels.

Garrett: Indeed. So now that we’ve gotten that obligatory question out of the way, what sparked your interest in pirates?

Misty: Oh gee, I've been a pirate girl for nearly my whole life. When I was 6 or 7, my family visited the Outer Banks on vacation, and the best part of the whole trip was getting to climb on sun-bleached shipwrecks and pretending to be a pirate. Later, after we moved to the Lowcountry of South Carolina, I learned more about the real pirates who prowled the Atlantic. I was fascinated by the romance of a life at sea. I know that pirates were criminals who'd have been happy to dip my toes in boiling tar to make me tell where the gold was hidden, but they represent the kind of freedom that we just don't have available anymore. That makes them fun.

Garrett: Yeah, it's pretty hard arguing against being a pirate. Who are your biggest influences as a writer?

Misty: I've been writing since I was a kid, but for many years, it never once occurred to me that I might be published. Back then, authors were these semi-divine beings who lived on mountaintops and could not be seen by mere humans. After college, I worked for a while in an independent bookstore, where I found a book called The Anubis Gates by Tim Powers. I took it home, devoured it, and decided then and there that I wanted to do what he'd done. He'd managed to create something amazing and I wanted to do that myself. But how to go about it? I started writing short stories, and even managed to sell a few to magazines that paid in copies. Eventually, I met Faith Hunter, who was part of a local writing group. She was writing mysteries at the time, while I was writing fantasy, but her insights and advice were exactly what I needed to push me along. After critiquing a number of short stories in the context of the group, she started insisting that I try writing a novel. I didn't think I could do it, but here we are! I've often said that there would have been no novel from me if Faith hadn't strong-armed me into trying it.

Garrett: Thank goodness for Faith, then. And huzzah for Tim Powers! Anubis Gates is one of my favorite books, too. We'll have to get you out to California so you can meet Powers one of these days. I actually get to work with him at the Orange County High School of the Arts. Amazing guy.

Misty: I would LOVE to shake his hand one day. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that when I come face to face with him, I'll be so starstruck I'll babble something incomprehensible and run away. Or cry. (laughs) Some girls lose their minds over rock stars; for me, it's writers.

Garrett: Same for me. I went to Comic Con this year and while my girlfriend was starstruck seeing different movie and TV celebrities, I piddled myself when I happened to walk by George R.R. Martin.

Misty: (laughs out loud)

Garrett: Alright, back to Mad Kestrel. You did a great job of addressing gender roles in the novel through the natural progression and context of the story without being heavy handed. As a female author, how do you approach gender roles and the issue of sexism in your writing?

Misty: Gender roles... that's really a tough one. Once upon a time, society dictated such concrete standards that one could hardly think about stepping outside them. These days, the world's open to anyone. Or mostly. Luckily, there were a few female pirates among the 18th century pirates that I used for inspiration, so I'm not entirely out of my depth by writing one. Then again, those female pirates weren't supposed to be pirating at all, and I tried to keep that in mind when I was working on Mad Kestrel. Brave and vicious and strong they were, but they weren't entirely accepted.

I've had the occasional review that complained about male characters seeing Kestrel as a sexual object, but those instances were important to show how very unusual it was for her to hold such a position aboard a ship. A 21st century man knows better than to behave that way to a woman doing her job, but the 18th century men saw women like that as unworthy of respect. So, I think I'm trying to make sure that I accurately portray the cultural behaviors of my world, even though as a modern woman I might not like it much. And I also do my best to make my protagonist fight those strictures so she can ultimately live the free life she craves.

Whew!

Garrett: I happen to know some 21st century men who still think it's the 18th century when it comes to females.

Misty: Yeah, I live in the South, where some people still think it's 1875.

Garrett: Well, I for one think you did a great job—both with your response to the question and in portraying Kestrel in a realistic, thoughtful way.

Misty: Thanks!

Garrett: Okay, let's lighten it up a little. You're a contributing member of MagicalWords.net. What is Magical Words all about and how did you get involved?

Misty: Magical Words is about helping would-be authors by giving them tips, advice and suggestions about the publishing world. I'm honored to be a member of the team—we've been at it for three years now, and I hope we keep going many more years.

It all began when I went over to Faith Hunter's house for tea one afternoon. She and David B. Coe had been tossing around an idea for joining together to make a bigger mark on the internet than a single person's blog could accomplish. We talked and plotted and planned all afternoon, then I came home to tell my husband. He happened to be an amateur webmaster at the time, and offered to set up our site. We invited C.E. Murphy to join us, and soon we were posting new content four days a week. C.E. Murphy had to drop out after the second year, due to having a baby, so we added Stuart Jaffe, A.J. Hartley and Edmund Schubert to the lineup.

Garrett: That sounds very cool. And you guys even have a book out in print now, is that correct?

Misty: Yes, last January we released a book of the best posts from the first two years, called How To Write Magical Words. We're talking about a fiction anthology, but that's up in the air right now, until we can get an interested publisher.

Garrett: Very cool. I'm working on a couple of different anthologies myself. Lot's of work, but it's great to get to work with other writers. Sometimes you feel sort of isolated as a writer and it's nice to collaborate, I think.

Misty: You're absolutely right. That's one reason I like going to cons so much. Just the chance to talk shop with people who know how this crazy business feels!

Garrett: Agreed. Alright, ready for the speed round?

Misty: (cracks her knuckles) Ready!

Garrett: Are you any good at singing pirate shanties?

Misty: Yes, I am! I can do at least ten verses of "A Drop of Nelson's Blood" all on my own. And while I don't remember all the words, I can power through the chorus of "Barrett's Privateers" with the best of them.

Garrett: Nice! Favorite rum?

Misty: Cruzan Blackstrap (although Kraken has the best bottle design).

Garrett: Good choice. I haven't tried Kraken yet, though I've held the bottle longingly many at time at the store. If you ever find yourself in Fiji, I highly recommend Bounty overproof room. My good friend and collaborator Ahimsa Kerp turned me onto it. Unfortunately, you can't find it here in the states.

Misty: I'd love to find myself in Fiji someday!

Garrett: Scariest sea creature? The Kraken?

Misty: Jellyfish. They're really hard to see in the water and they hurt if they touch you! At least the Kraken I can see coming...

Garrett: Good call. How are your saber skills?

Misty: Alas, they've been better. I took one semester of fencing in college and loved it, but I haven't had much swordfighting experience since then. Unless you count DANCING with a sword, in which case my skills are excellent!

Garrett: Nice, that’ll keep any unwanted scoundrels from strong arming you into a dance. Any other hobbies or interests your fans might not know about.

Misty: My fans probably already know that I'm a belly dancer. I've been studying various forms of Middle Eastern dance for nearly nine years now, and there's always something new to learn. Lately I've been teaching myself how to use fan veils (dance fans with silk veils about 3 feet long) and hoops. I drop the hoops often, but I'm getting better.

Garrett: Sounds exotic. I'll have to see if my girlfriend can find a fan veil class somewhere nearby.

Misty: Fan veils are beautiful—she'll love them! I should also warn you, they're addictive. I have four pair already.

Garrett: Warning taken under consideration. So, that's all the questions I have for you. Apart from the new Kestrel novel, anything else you want fans to know about?

Misty: Well, once the rewrite is done, I'll be returning to the project I started last spring, a weird western fantasy with gunslingers, faeries, lost loves and electricity in all the most dangerous places, so keep a weather eye open for that.

Garrett: Definitely will. That sounds awesome. Thanks so much for taking the time to talk. It's been a great honor.

Misty: I've enjoyed this! Thank you for inviting me!

Holy Shit, Batman! (Comic-Con 2011)

2011-07-28T22:31:00.000-07:00

After missing Comic-Con in 2010, I was excited to get back there this year. Due to some poor planning on my part and gnarly crowds I missed most of the cool programs and panels, but my girlfriend and I still managed to squeeze in a solid day and a half of ambling around, and with said crowds, that was plenty for us.

Beyond the great people watching, here’s some of the noteworthy highlights from this year’s nerd fest.

A Song of Ice and Fire: I missed both the HBO Game of Thrones Q&A session and the Epic Writing panel with George RR Martin, but by sheer dumb luck, I wandered by Martin at an autograph booth and nabbed a quick photo. He looks to be in good health, which is good news for those of us hoping he doesn’t croak before finishing A Song of Ice and Fire. I have to admit, I was a bit star struck getting so close to Martin—way more star struck than seeing Adam West, Lou Ferrigno, and two Playboy playmates. I’ve yet to read A Dance with Dragons (it’s been so long coming, I need to go back and read the first four books again first), but I hear it’s good. For a review, check out Ahi Kerp’s blog.

The Walking Dead: I missed the panel for the AMC Walking Dead TV show, as well as Robert Kirkman’s spotlight panel (detect a theme here?), but I did catch the trailer for the new season on AMC and it looks pretty bad ass. It’s hard to say from just the trailer, but it looks like season 2 more or less follows volume 2 of the comic book.

John Carter of Mars: Not sure if there were any formal previews or panels for this one, but I read about it in a magazine that came with my free swag. Apparently, this is the first live-action movie Pixar has ever done and no one knows quite what to expect—Pixar has never had a critical or box office failure, but then again, Pixar has never made a movie like this. I personally have high hopes. The original Edgar Rice Burroughs book series is one of my favorites and I hope Disney/Pixar can adapt it as well as Disney/Walden adapted the Narnia movies. This trailer here looks promising:

Christopher Moore: How come I’ve never read any of his stuff before? His author spotlight was the one good panel I was able to actually get into, and he was not only hilarious, but very insightful and unabashed in his take on the publishing and movie industries. Upon returning home, I immediately ran to the Bookman in Orange (they stock my two books, so I gotta pimp them out at every opportunity) and picked up a copy of Blood Sucking Fiends. 40 pages into it so far, and not disappointed.

Steampunk: The genre is becoming invasive in all facets of media. There were more people in steampunk costumes than any other genre, by my estimation. In the main exhibit hall, there were at least a dozen stalls selling steampunk paraphernalia: everything from clothing and jewelry to games, artwork, fully functional gadgets, and even a steam-powered brass vibrator (or maybe it was just a gun—I was afraid to pick it up to figure out which). Like the current zombie craze, I have mixed feelings about steampunk’s growing popularity. On one hand, with the popularity, longtime fans lose the exclusivity and prestige of being part of a small group in the know, but on the other hand, steampunk is pretty fucking cool and it’s nice to see more books, movies, and TV shows incorporating steampunk milieus. Plus, I actually know Tim Powers and James P. Blaylock, the two dude who more or less invented steampunk, so even if it does get popular, I’m still in pretty exclusive company. Take that, suckas!

Slutty Costumes: As cool as the steampunk getups were, the slutty girls still win the contest for garnering the most gawking. Like Halloween, Comic-Con gives ladies full license to whore it up, and not just the good looking ladies. I can’t tell you how many pasty, 200+ lb gals I saw dressed up like Princess Leia from the Jabba the Hut sequence in Return of the Jedi. I applaud the ladies for their gusto and lack of modesty, but still, my personal favorite was these ladies who dressed up like the girls from Sucker Punch. Well done, ladies. Well done. Even my girlfriend was gawking at you for a good five minutes. Only at Comic-Con.

-Garrett Calcaterra

Dirty Jobs

2011-07-16T11:46:00.000-07:00

Sorry, hon, you can't pay me enough to do that...

In the course of trying to make a career of doing what one loves, we are often forced into making sacrifices and working odd jobs to make ends meet. Being a writer is no exception. People tend to have the misconception that being an author means you make heaps of money, live in a secluded manse, and hobnob with the intellectual elite. Not so much. If you need convincing, read Robert Brockway's hilarious (and depressingly too real) account of what it's like being a writer. And keep in mind, Brockway is a fairly successfully author. Those of us writers who have yet to find ourselves on a bestsellers list are even worse off.

About five years ago, I left my career in the health & safety industry to become a “real” writer. I was writing before that, of course, but simply didn't have enough time to write as much as I needed. So, I quit my job, picked up a few writing classes to teach part-time, and got to writing like mad. The writing has been good, and the classes fun to teach, but the money hasn't exactly come pouring in, and that's meant taking on whatever jobs I can hustle up—oftentimes jobs a one-armed hooker with no teeth would turn her nose up to. What follows is a sampling of the soul-sucking jobs I've worked over the years. Please share your own shitty jobs in the comments section below. It'll be fun to commiserate together in our collected misery!

Valeting Cars: This is what I'm currently doing for the summer. When I got hired I envisioned parking sweet cars at a high-end hotel—if not Lambos, Ferraris, and Porsches, at least BMWs, Mercedes Benzs, and Lexus, etc. Instead, I'm parking mini-vans and beat up Corollas with 300,000 miles on them at a little inn across from Disneyland. Pay is minimum wage plus tips, which are essentially non-existent. My co-workers are all great, though (and most have college degrees, by the way, which says something about our current economy). Plus, the people watching is fantastic. My co-workers and I have decided, after much observation, that Disneyland should change their slogan from “the happiest place on Earth” to “the fattest place on Earth.” The parade of obese people shuffling in and out of that place is astounding. Fat husbands, fat wives, fat kids, fat grandmas, people so fat they can't walk... (Hint: If you wanna get rich, start a wheelchair/scooter rental company near Disneyland.) The worse part is watching these debilitatingly fat people go into the McDonalds next door and wheel themselves out carrying a BigMac, super-sized fries, a tub of soda, and a milkshake. Go, America!

Delivering Past-due and Foreclosure Notices: This was the most depressing job ever. Sometimes I'd find homes already abandoned, the residents having taken all their possessions and skipped town before the bank could seize everything. Other times I'd find the residents still there and have to look them in the face while giving them their letter. A few of them were angry and yelled at me, but most just looked at me with sad eyes, broken and stripped of all pride. The irony of it all, from my perspective, was that the company that hired me was continually short-changing me and mailing my paycheck late. And mind you, this company's clients were some of the biggest, most well-known banks and home loan lenders in America. I think I speak for all American people when I say to the mortgage lending industry: go fuck yourselves.

Doing Air-exposure Monitoring During the Gulf Oil Spill: Damn, I might have to take back what I said about delivering foreclosure notices—seeing the devastation of the Gulf might have been the most depressing job ever. Read my previous Blog entry here for all the details, and as long as I'm telling off faceless entities: BP, you can go fuck yourself too!

Teaching On-line Classes for the University of Phoenix: This sounds like a good gig, right? Stay at home and teach a class on the computer from the comfort of your own home. That's what I thought, too, then I had to go through several weeks of unpaid teacher training, during which I got a taste of University of Phoenix's on-line learning platform, i.e. inane busy work. Read this article, post a one paragraph response, comment on two of your classmates' responses, then comment on someone's comment on your response. I learned absolutely nothing. Seriously, I could have learned more about teaching by running naked through the reference section at Barnes & Noble and hoping I absorbed knowledge from the books via osmosis. Once I actually started teaching my own classes, it only got worse. For one thing, I didn't actually teach anything. I moderated the discussions as the students read and responded to the canned curriculum. The only thing I did beyond my teacher busy work was break up petty arguments between my students and listen to their excuses for turning work in late. One lady told me her homework was late because she had to go to the doctor on account of her vagina being “busted up” from giving birth to a baby with a real big head. Another woman said her work was late because she had to send her grandpa to jail for molesting her kids. I can only assume these excuses were legitimate because they're way too fucked up to be made up. In any case, between the impersonal nature of the classes, the total lack of real teaching, and the mind-boggling stupidity of most of the students, I simply couldn't take it. I made it through only one term of classes before quitting because I was turning into a raving madman who cursed and yelled at my computer.

Pulling Labor Gigs off of Craigslist: When I'm real hard up for cash, this is where I go (and this happens more often than you might think). I've helped people move, I've hauled random crap into storage units, I've done yard work, house work, and I famously low-balled a quote to cut down a thorny bougainvillaea “bush” that turned out to be the size of a 100-year old oak tree. That little incident left me looking like I'd gotten in a scratch fight with a really pissed off cougar, and after paying to dispose all the green waste at the dump, I only netted only $20 and multiple sessions of first-aid care at the hands of disapproving girlfriend for my seven ours of grueling work. Most of the time, the people I meet for these gigs are pretty nice. Sometimes not. I had one lady cancel a check on me (and my bank charged me $25, bastards). Another time, a guy was so lonely he tried to either befriend me or lure me into a murderous trap—I'm not sure which. He offered me a beer after delivering some furniture for him, which I accepted, but when he offered a second beer and invited me to look at his “wine cellar” I high-tailed it out of there. Too close to a real life Edgar Allen Poe story for my liking.

Pulling Writing Gigs off of Craigslist: Here's a little lesson you can learn at my expense: writing gigs off of Craigslist are bullshit 99% of the time. Most of them are phishing scams, the rest are people trying to get you to write them something for free. My most infamous incident was with Rev Ed. This looney offered to pay me $1400 to write the screenplay for an animated short. This guy was the nuttiest zealot I've ever had the displeasure of communicating with. The goal of his proposed short film was to somehow glorify and praise Christianity by depicting the holiest figures of Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism sodomizing each other and doing naughty things to farm animals. I knew the guy wasn't going to pay me, but I wrote his nonsensical screenplay anyway, just so I could make the crusading hero of his story flamboyantly gay. Rev Ed never picked up on the nature of his hero (Rev Ed wasn't real bright, in case you can't tell), but my hope is one day he'll try to get his movie made, and when someone points out that his fictional Christian prophet is a homosexual he'll be so mortified that he throws himself off a cliff.

Ghost Writing and Copy Writing: These jobs actually aren't all that bad in comparison to the others, but as a public service, I want to make it clear that all my legitimate freelance writing gigs came from referrals and professional networking. Ghost writing and copy writing isn't exactly fun writing, but if you're a shrewd business person and can hustle up some good clients, you can make good money—probably more than you can make from writing poetry, fiction, or essays. But then again, money isn't why most writers write, and that's why more often than not, I'll choose to park cars or do yard work when I need the money.

-Garrett Calcaterra

If you wanna buy a book, pussy cow!

2011-06-13T12:56:00.000-07:00

With the release of The Roads to Baldairn Motte, my co-authors and I have been brainstorming new, creative ways to promote the book--everything from fan art contests, book review drives, creating an original song, to giving away exclusive, unreleased content related to the book. During said conversations, I've been experimenting with promotion ideas with Umbral Visions, and I have to say, the whole business really makes me feel like a used car salesman. I'd much rather be writing, but in today's world--where you have to fight hard to convince someone to spend their hard-earned money on books--writers have to be their own biggest cheerleaders.

I'm curious to see what others think. From a reader's perspective. What makes you want take a chance on a new writer and buy their book? Right now, I'm doing a book review drive of Umbral Visions, where I'm giving away a free original song to everyone who leaves a review on Amazon. Does this type of bribery work? Hell, do reviews on Amazon even translate to better sales?

I'm also going to dabble with running some online ads, though honestly, I can only think of a few times where I've ever clicked on an online ad to buy something. Do ads actually work? I guess they must since businesses dump gillions of dollars every year into advertisements, but still, I'm wary.

So, let's hear your thoughts. What grabs your attention and makes you want to buy a new book?

-Garrett Calcaterra

The Roads to Baldairn Motte

2011-05-30T22:54:00.000-07:00

After many years of hard work, The Roads to Baldairn Motte is finally here! Collaborators Craig Comer, Ahimsa Kerp, and myself started working on the mosaic fantasy novel back in 2007. It took us about a year and a half to write, then we searched high a low to find a home for it (which we found in the awesome independent publisher, L&L Dreamspell), and then we had to forge through the revision process with our editors. All said and done, we have a book that all of us our proud of, and more importantly, a book readers are going to love. Here's what two of our reviewers had to say about the novel:

"I was drawn into the world of Baldairn Motte at once by the rich prose and the promise of high adventure, but it was the characters and the fast moving story that held me literary hostage. I hope there's a sequel!"

- James P. Blaylock, Winner of the World Fantasy Award and Philip K. Dick Award

"Whores become heroes, farmers become freedom fighters and healers strike down the unjust against the backdrop of a land in turmoil. Fans of George R R Martin's Song of Ice and Fire or Paul Hoffman's The Left Hand of God will relish the excitement of The Roads to Baldairn Motte."

- Misty Massey, author of Mad Kestrel

I'd like thank Jim Blaylock and Misty Massey immensely for saying such kind words about the book. Now it's up to all you readers out there to see if Jim and Misty are full of shit or not. The book is available in paperback and Kindle formats. Grab a copy from Amazon here, and let me know what you think. And as always, thanks for your support!

-Garrett Calcaterra

A Brief History of Eä, the World of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings, and The Hobbit

2011-05-05T10:25:00.000-07:00

A year or so ago, I taught an author study course on J.R.R. Tolkien. For their final project, the students had to create an almanac for The Lord of the Rings, and I decided to write the introduction, a primer of sorts on where all the races of people and creatures came from. This turned out to be much harder than I anticipated, but the final product is a fair summary of the world Tolkien created, or at least I like to think so. My sources included The Silmarillion, The Books of Lost Tales, Unfinished Tales, and of course, The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings.

A Brief History of Eä, the World

of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings, and The Hobbit

by Garrett Calcaterra

In the Beginning...

Illúvatar is the god and creator of Eä. He first created the Ainur, the Holy Ones, and together they created a song in which they imagined Eä, the world of trees, Elves, and Men. Once the world was imagined in song, Illúvatar created the world amidst the void and sent those of the Ainur who were willing to go make the world as they had imagined it in song. These Ainur who went to Eä were thenceforth known as the Valar and Maiar. The Valar were the more powerful of the two groups, and chief amongst them were Manwë, Aulë, Ulmo, Yavanna, Oromë, and Melkor.

Melkor alone amongst the Valar had greed in his heart and he desired for Eä to be his own. However, Illúvatar had appointed Manwe to be King of Eä, and together with the other Valar and the Maiar, he denied Melkor lordship over the world. Still, as they sought to create the world as they had envisioned in song, Melkor worked to ruin and pervert what they created and there were countless ages of war with Melkor. Among the Maiar, Melkor was able to seduce many allies into his servitude, including the Balrogs and Sauron.

Eventually, Melkor was banished from Arda: the land created for Elves and Men, which would come to be known as Middle-earth. Melkor hid in the deep, dark places of the world and bid his time. Meanwhile, the Valar created two great lamps, taller than mountains, to give light to Middle-earth and Yavanna planted seeds which became plants and trees. Beasts and animals were created, and when all was prepared for the Elves to be born, the Valar held a great feast. While they feasted, Melkor crept back into the northern reaches of Middle-earth and with his servants created a stronghold named Angband beneath the mountains. Then, Melkor attacked. The great lamps were destroyed, sending the world into darkness, and Middle-earth was marred immeasurably. The Valar were able to again repel Melkor, but he retreated to his underground fortress and they themselves left Arda and traveled to the far western lands known as Aman, or the Undying Lands, where they created a safe haven called Valinor.

The Valar made Valinor beautiful and Yavanna created the Two Trees of Valinor, which emanated a warm light to illuminate Valinor. Meanwhile, Middle-earth remained dark, with only the stars to illuminate the lands, and Melkor continued his plotting.

The Elves and Dwarves

Illúvatar had not yet deemed it time for Elves or Men—the Children of Illúvatar—to inhabit the world, but Aulë grew impatient and so created his own race of creatures, the Dwarves. Illúvatar allowed the Dwarves to live, but put them into a deep sleep until such time that Elves were born, and he foretold that there would be much strife between Dwarves and the Children of Illúvatar because the Dwarves had not been part of the original song of the Ainur.

Yavanna, realizing that Elves, Men, and Dwarves would have dominion over all the plants and trees, became concerned and consulted with Manwë. Manwë called out to Illúvatar, and the song of the Ainur was renewed in his mind and he foretold that Ents would be born to be Shepherds of the Trees before the Elves were awoken.

Realizing that the time had come for Elves to be born, many of the Valar wanted to attack Melkor, but Manwë bid them to stay their hand and instead urged Varda to create new stars to better illuminate Middle-earth. As Varda did so, the Elves were born unbeknownst to the Valar in the far eastern reaches of Middle-earth, in a place called Cuiviénen. This began the First Age. Over time, the Elves developed speech and spread out over the land. Melkor was the first to discover them and he sent his agents to haunt and attack them so that they would fear the Valar. He also captured many of these first elves, and in the dark reaches of his fortress he perverted and transformed them, and thus the race of Orcs was formed. Like the Elves, they could not become ill nor die of old age, but rather could only be killed by injury. (Elves could in extreme instances also die of grief).

Oromë, in his travels, was first of the Valar to discover the Elves and he returned to Valinor to tell Manwë of their coming. Despairing over the fate of the Elves in Melkor's hands, Manwë led the other Valar to Angband, and after many years, captured and chained Melkor to be imprisoned far in the west. Many of Melkor's dark agents escaped and hid, however, including Sauron.

With Melkor safely imprisoned, the Valar met in council to discuss the fate of the Elves. Some argued that the Elves should be left to live in Middle-earth as was foretold in their original song, but many of the Valar feared for the Elves because Middle-earth had been so badly damaged, and they insisted that the Elves come to the west where they could live beneath the light of the Two Trees of Valinor. Many of the Elves were still afraid of the Valar, however, and remained in Middle-earth. Those Elves who went west with the Valar to Valinor were thenceforth called the Eldar, and there were three groups of them, the Vanyar, the Noldor, and the Teleri. The Elves who remained in the east near Cuiviénen were known as the Avari, and those who traveled west but were waylaid and never left Middle-earth were known as the Sindar—the most famous of whom was Thingol.

Melkor's Release and the Silmarils

After three ages of captivity, Melkor was brought before Manwë and he repented and begged forgiveness. Manwë, not fully comprehending Melkor's evilness, freed Melkor and bid him to stay in Valinor. There, Melkor taught the Noldor many things, but Fëanor, mightiest of the Noldor, despised Melkor and he kept to his own devices. Fëanor was a masterful craftsman and he labored many years in secret to fashion three jewels that would preserve the light of the Two Trees of Valinor, and these were called the Silmarils. When Melkor beheld the Silmarils, he lusted to have them for his own and his plotting began anew. He whispered lies to those Noldor who would listen to him and planted the seeds of distrust towards the Valar. Then Melkor spread lies to Fëanor that Fingolfin, his brother, desired to steal the Silmarils. Thus, great jealousy sprung between the brothers, and Melkor taught them to fashion weapons.

The Valar eventually learned of this treachery. Melkor fled back to Middle-earth, and Fëanor was chastised for threatening his brother Fingolfin. Fingolfin, hoping to mend the rift, swore allegiance to Fëanor.

Back in Middle-earth, Melkor sought the help of Ungoliant, a dark spirit clad in the form of a giant spider. Ungoliant spun a web or darkness so she and Melkor could sneak back into Valinor, and together they destroyed the Two Trees of Valinor and all was cast in darkness.

The three Silmarils were all that remained of the light of the trees. The Valar asked Fëanor to give up the jewels, so the Trees could be healed by Yavanna, but he refused them, and even as he did so, Melkor snuck into Fëanor's home, killed his father, Finwë, and stole the Silmarils. Learning of this news, Fëanor cursed Melkor before the Valar and renamed him Morgoth.

Safely back in Middle-earth, Ungoliant bid Morgoth to give her the Silmarils so that she might eat them, but he refused her and she ensnared him in a web. He cried out in pain, and the Balrogs, hearing his cry, came to his aid and chased Ungoliant away to hide in the Mountains of Terror where she spawned many evil spiders. Morgoth then returned to Angband and placed the Silmarils in an iron crown.

In Valinor, Fëanor summoned the Noldor and declared war on Morgoth. Fëanor and his seven sons made an oath to Illúvatar, swearing they would not rest until Morgoth was dead and the Silmarils returned to the house of Fëanor. This oath became the curse of the Noldor. Fingolfin and his kin did not take the oaths, but because of Fingolfin's prior oath of fealty, they were compelled to follow Fëanor.

The Noldor followed Morgoth's trail and soon realized he had crossed the great ocean to return to Middle-earth. Needing ships to follow the trail, Fëanor tried to persuade the sea-faring Teleri Elves to aid them. When the Teleri refused, Fëanor took their ships by force and for the first time, Elves fought and killed each other, adding to the curse of the Noldor.

Fëanor led the Noldor north and east, and as they passed from the Undying Lands beyond Valinor, a herald of the Valar decreed the Doom of the Noldor, but Fëanor pushed the Noldor onward, some by ship and some by land across the narrow straight at the northern rim of the world, for there were too few ships to transport all the Noldor. Eventually, they reached the Helcaraxë, a seemingly impassible mountain of ice, and Fëanor snuck away with the ships to Middle-earth with those most loyal to him, leaving behind Fingolfin and his people. Safely in Middle-earth, Fëanor burned the ships rather than going back to rescue his kinsmen. Fingolfin led his people alone across the perilous Helcaraxë, suffering many losses, but at length his people, too, reached Middle-earth, among them Galadriel, who much later took part in the War of the Ring. The people of Fingolfin from that point forward had much grievance and hatred for the kin of Fëanor.

And there in Middle-earth, the fractured Noldor came to co-exist with the Elves who never left Middle-earth and the Dwarves. Morgoth dwelt in Middle-earth as well, rebuilding his fortress, Angband, and increasing his powers by breeding orcs, dragons, and other fell creatures.

The Sun, the Moon, and the Birth of Men

In Valinor, the Valar unsuccessfully tried to heal the Two Trees, but before completely dying and leaving the world, the Trees produced one golden fruit and one silver flower, which became the Sun and the Moon, respectively. The Valar placed the Sun and Moon in the heavens to light the entirety of Eä, and as they did so, Men were born in the eastern reaches of Middle-earth. The Valar were unaware of the coming of men, and fearing that Morgoth might again attack their home, they created great mountains to hide Valinor and the Undying Lands.

Unlike Elves, Men were born mortal. They were prone to illness and would eventually die of old age, and unlike the Elves, whose spirits went to dwell in the hall of Mandos in Valinor when their bodies died, the fate of the spirits of men is not known to any but Illúvatar himself. The majority of men fell under the dominion of Morgoth, but three houses of men fled westward to resist Morgoth. These houses of men were to become know as the Edain.

The Hopeless War Against Morgoth

For some 500 years, Elves, Men, and Dwarves fought across Middle-earth, sometimes against each other, sometimes jointly against Morgoth's minions. Many great heroes rose and fell. Fëanor was slain by Gothmog, lord of the Balrogs. Fingolfin was killed by Morgoth himself in single combat. Ecthelion and Gothmog fought each other to the death during the fall of Gondolin. Turin, perhaps mightiest of all men, fought Glaurung, father of dragons, to the death. Huan, the mightiest wolfhound to ever walk Eä, killed Draugluin, father of werewolves; defeated Sauron in wolf form; and fought Carcharoth, Morgoth's mightiest werewolf, to the death.

Ever, the curse of the Noldor brought ruin to those who tried to defeat Morgoth. Eventually, however, a series of events unfolded to lift the curse of the Noldor and bring the downfall of Morgoth. Thingol, who was of the Sindar (King of the Grey Elves), came to marry Melian, a Maiar who had taken Elven form, and together they had a daughter named Lúthien. Lúthien came to love Beren, a human male of the Edain, but Thingol, not wanting his daughter to marry a human, granted Beren his daughter's hand only if Beren could retrieve one of the Silmaril's from Morgoth's crown. Lúthien joined Beren on his seemingly impossible quest, and with the help of Huan and many others, they did indeed take one of the Silmarils from Morgoth. This caused enmity between the Sindar and the Noldor, however, because the Noldor still believed the Silmarils belonged to them.

Thingol, bid the Dwarves of Nogrod to place the Silmaril in a necklace for him to wear, but seeing the Silmaril, the Dwarves coveted it for themselves, and when Thingol denied it to them, they killed him and fled with it. This led to war between the Grey Elves and the Nogrod Dwarves, and the Ents played a part in killing the Nogrod and reclaiming the Silmaril, which was passed on to Elwing, grandaughter of Beren and Lúthien. Elwing was of three races: the Maiar, the Noldor, and the Edain.

Another joining of Elves and Men came about with the marriage of Tuor and Idril in Gondolin. Together they had a son, Eärendil, and when Gondolin fell to Morgoth's minions and all seemed lost, Eärendil and Elwing were brought together in the Havens of the Sirion, in the far western corner of Middle-earth. There they had two sons, Elrond and Elros.

Still bound by their oath and curse, the sons of Fëanor attacked Elwing's people and tried to recapture the Silmaril. Elrond and Elros were captured, but Elwing threw herself into the sea with the Silmaril, and Ulmo, lord of waters transformed her into a great white bird and she took the Silmaril to Eärendil and together they sailed to the Undying Lands. Only by the power of the Silmaril were they able to find the Undying Lands, and there Eärendil told the Valar of all that had happened in Middle-earth and he begged for forgiveness, both for Elves and Men.

Meanwhile, Morgoth's power spread across Middle-earth, and his dominion was near complete thanks to the fighting amongst Elves, Men, and Dwarves.

The War of Wrath and the reshaping of Eä

Hearing Eärendil's words, the Valar traveled with their host across the sea to battle Morgoth. The war was devastating, for Morgoth brought the entirety of his might against the Valar. The western portion of Middle-earth, known as Beleriand, was ruined and sent beneath the sea. In the end, though, the power of Morgoth could not withstand the Valar. All but a few of the Balrogs were destroyed; Eärendil and the Eagles of Manwë, led by Thorondor, destroyed most of Morgoth's dragons; Angband was destroyed; and Morgoth was taken captive to forever wear the chain of Angainor and be held captive away from Middle-earth. This began the Second Age.

Against the will of the Valar, Maglor and Maedhros, the last two sons of Fëanor, stole away the two Silmarils from Morgoth's crown. The jewels burned them, however, and unable to bare them long, Maedhros cast his jewel into a chasm of fire and Maglor threw his into the sea. The third Silmaril, the one Eärendil and Elwing had bore, was put into the heavens, and so the three Silmarils were forever gone from the hands of Valar, Mair, Elves, Men, and Dwarves.

As a reward for fighting against Morgoth, the Edain were given the gift of long life and their own island to rule near the Undying Lands, known as Númenor. And as a reward to the kindred of Eärendil and Elwing, Elrond and Elros, half-Elven, were given the choice to be either Elves or Men. Elrond chose to be Elvenkind and Elros chose to become human and he was the first King of the Númenóreans.

The Rise of Sauron and the Fall of Númenor

During Morgoth's reign over Middle-earth, Morgoth had put much of his power into his minions, so much so that his own power had waned to the point that he never stepped foot out of Angband again after fighting Fingolfin in single combat. His minions, however, took upon much of his power, and strongest of his agents was Sauron. Sauron fled from the Valar after the War of Wrath and hid in Middle-earth. After a time, he grew brave again, and began seducing the Elves, Men, and Dwarves of Middle-earth. He gave them many gifts, and taught them to be master craftsmen.

The remnants of the Noldor Elves were most receptive to his tutelage, and under his guidance they created the Rings of Power. Unbeknown to them, however, he forged a master ring, the One Ring to control anyone who wore the Rings of Power. When Sauron wore his ring, though, the Elves could in turn sense him and they took their rings off so as not to be held under his power. Sauron grew angry and stole all but three of the rings, and of the rings he stole, he bestowed them as gifts to Men and Dwarves and slowly took dominion over Middle-earth.

Away from Middle-earth, the heirs of Elros ruled Númenor and became the most learned and powerful men to ever walk Eä. They conquered the seas and came to take dominion over men on the western shores of Middle-earth. They grew greedy, however, and discontent with their mortality. They began to distrust the Valar and Elves, and Ar-Pharazôn, the 25^th King of Númenor, grew so powerful that he went to Middle-earth and captured Sauron himself. Sauron had learned well from Morgoth, however, and with whispers and lies he sowed further discord between the Númenóreans and the Valar and Elves.

The Númenóreans were barred from ever setting foot on the Undying Lands, like all humans, but Sauron assured Ar-Pharazôn that the Valar were merely afraid of the Númenóreans. At Sauron's prompting, Ar-Pharazôn led the Númenóreans to attack the Undying Lands. Only a small contingent of Númenóreans defected, and these were the line of Elendil. With him, his sons Isildur and Anárion fled Númenor with a fruit from the White Tree of Númenor and the seven Palantíri, or seeing stones. From this line of Númenóreans, or Dúnedain, the realms of Gondor and Rohan were established in Middle-earth.

The rest of the Númenóreans were killed and the wrath of Manwë and the Valar was so great that Númenor itself was sunk beneath the sea. To Men, the earth became round and the Undying Lands became unreachable. Sauron himself could not escape the storm of the Valar, and he lost his body. His spirit fled back to Middle-earth and never again could he don an attractive and beguiling form.

The Istari, the White Council, and the War of the Ring

Sauron gave seven Rings of Power to Dwarve kings, but Aulë had created the Dwarves to be hearty and stubborn, and they were hard to rule. Of those seven rings, some were lost, and the others Sauron recovered.

Nine rings were given to men, and these men became mighty warriors, kings, and wizards, but they all succumbed to Sauron's power, and these nine men became Nazgûl, Sauron's most powerful servants.

Of the three Elven rings, Sauron knew not their whereabouts, and after returning from Númenor he gathered his Orcs in Mordor and attacked all those who opposed him. Gil-Galad, the last High-Elven King in Middle-earth, and Elendil gathered together the Last Alliance. Elves, the Men of Gondor, and the Dwarves of Moria joined forces, and together they defeated Sauron. Gil-Galad and Elendil were killed, but Isildur cut the One Ring from Sauron's hand and again Sauron's spirit was cast from his body. Elrond urged Isildur to throw the One Ring into the fires of Mount Doom, for Sauron's spirit was bound to the ring, but like the Silmarils of the prior age, the One Ring proved to be irresistible. Isildur kept the One Ring, and so Sauron's spirit survived. This marked the beginning of the Third Age.

Isildur was soon after killed by Orcs and the One Ring was lost. Isildur's line lived on, but the Dúnedain slowly faded from prominence and men came to forget Sauron and the One Ring.

Of the three remaining Elven rings of power, Elrond kept one hidden and he built Rivendell as a stronghold against Sauron's eventual return. Galadriel, oldest and mightiest of Elves still to remain in Middle-earth, kept hidden another of the rings and she enchanted the land of Lórien to keep it hidden. The third ring was held for time in secret by Círdan the ship builder in the Gray Havens at the western edge of Middle-earth. With the One Ring lost, Elrond and Galadriel were able to use their rings without fear, and they made their lands both beautiful and powerful.

Sauron was not gone forever, though. The Nazgûl prepared for his return and eventually Sauron's spirit emerged in Mirkwood. In this incarnation he was known as the Necromancer. At this same time, an order of Wizards arrived in Middle-earth and these were the Istari, Maiar chosen by the Valar to help combat Sauron. They were allowed to council Elves, Men, and Dwarves, but were inhibited by their human forms. Most well known of the Istari were Saruman and Gandalf. Saruman was their leader, but Gandalf was the most vigilant and it is he who learned of Sauron's presence in Mirkwood.

Thus the White Council was formed, comprised of Saruman, Gandalf, Elrond, Galadriel, and Cirdan, amongst others. Their purpose was to prevent the rise of Sauron, but Saruman bid against taking action because he secretly desired to find the One Ring and rule Middle-earth himself. When Sauron's power in Mirkwood became too strong to ignore, though, the White Council moved against him, and he fled to Mordor where the Nazgûl had been preparing for him.

Unbeknownst to all, the One Ring had already been found by Sméagol, or Gollum as he was later called, and hidden away in the Misty Mountains. Bilbo Baggins, a Hobbit, errantly found and stole the ring from Gollum while on a quest with the Dwarve kin of Durin to kill the last dragon in Middle-earth, Smaug, as told in The Hobbit. Bilbo many years later passed the ring on to his nephew Frodo Baggins. Meanwhile, Sauron continued to grow stronger, Saruman left the White Council to continue his search for the One Ring, and Isildur's heir, Aragorn, roamed the wilds as a ranger. Gandalf, whom Cirdan had given the third Elven ring, discovered that Frodo was indeed in possession of the One Ring, and so the stage was set for the War of the Rings, as told in The Lord of the Rings.

When the One Ring was cast into the fires of Mount Doom at the end of the war, Sauron's spirit was destroyed along with the ring. This ended the Third Age and began the Age of Men. The power in the three Elven Rings faded and all Elves who remained in Middle-earth began their voyage westward to the Gray Havens and across the sea to the Undying Lands, which were still open to them. Gandalf, too, went to the Undying Lands, and also the Ring Bearers Bilbo and Frodo. Elrond's daughter, Arwen, chose to become human and stayed in Middle-earth to marry Aragorn, now King of Gondor.

And while Sauron was destroyed, and much of the Orc host with him, there was still evil in the world. Many agents of evil survived the War of the Ring; in the far east, the whereabouts of the two Blue Istari were unknown and some suspected magic cults had sprung up to worship them; most importantly, men through the ages had shown a great capacity for evil, both in following Melkor and Sauron, and of their own devices...

The End.

-Garrett Calcaterra

The Non-Idiot's Guide to Finding a Literary Agent

2011-04-11T12:48:00.000-07:00

As an author, ghostwriter, and writing teacher, I’m often asked how to find a literary agent—enough times, at least, I decided I should finally write about it. There are a lot of good articles on the various aspects of getting an agent and ultimately a publisher, but not much in the way of a blunt, holistic guide, so without further ado, I present to you…

“The Non-Idiot’s Guide to Finding a Literary Agent.”

Solicited vs. Unsolicited Manuscripts

The first thing to understand as a writer hoping to get published is that you are competing with thousands of other writers with the exact same aspirations. This means agents and editors are swimming in more manuscript submissions than they can read. To make their jobs feasible, agents and editors generally split submissions into two categories: solicited and unsolicited. Solicited means a manuscript was requested by the agent or editor; these types of submissions garner much more time and consideration from the agent or editor. Furthermore, the response time from editors and agents is much quicker with solicited manuscripts; usually no longer than a month. Without any question, this is the better category to be in, but at the same time it’s the more difficult.

Unsolicited means a manuscript was not requested—these are the manuscripts that get put into the dreaded “slush pile” we all hear about. These manuscripts get decidedly less priority. This doesn’t mean it’s impossible to get picked out of the slush pile, though. In fact, most literary journals that publish short stories, essays, and poems get the majority of their content from the so-called slush pile.

Wendy Wagner, an assistant editor with Fantasy Magazine, says that while the previously published stories reprinted in Fantasy Magazine are solicited from established writers, the new fiction featured in each issue is selected from unsolicited submissions. “When I read slush, I am looking for stories that make me jump up and wave my arms and flail like a muppet,” Wagner says. “And while most of the stories I see are solidly constructed and NOT BAD, there aren’t very many that make me muppet-flail.” Wendy has a great article on her blog that details common problems in short fiction that keep her from getting excited and ultimately accepting a story. It’s a must read for short story writers: http://operabuffo.blogspot.com/2010/03/lessons-from-free-fiction.html

While the world of literary journals is fueled by unsolicited manuscripts, not so much the world of books. Many publishing houses do accept unsolicited manuscripts, but the chances of your book getting picked out of the slush pile are infinitely small. With books, you really need to be in the solicited category.

What is a Literary Agent and do I need one?

A literary agent is a middleman. They find publishable books, pass the books on to editors at publishing houses, and negotiate contracts for writers. This is a symbiotic relationship for everyone involved, and to understand the relationship, you must first understand the flow of money. Agents do not charge you an hourly fee like a lawyer or manager does. They only get paid if and when they sell your book to a publishing house. This means agents only represent books they are confident they can sell (and they usually know the book market pretty damn well). From the editor’s standpoint, the agent functions as a crap filter. Editors know agents aren’t going to waste their time with lousy books, so by dealing with an agent, editors know they’re only getting the best unpublished books out there.

From an author’s standpoint, an agent helps you get the best book deal you can conceivably get. Agents have direct access to editors at publishing houses—contacts that probably aren’t available to you—and they know how to negotiate the best book contract they can get for you. At the end of the day, they take 10-15% of your advance and future royalties, which might seem like a lot, but all things considered, it’s not a bad price to pay to get your book published with a major publishing house.

Sounds great, right? How do I find an agent then, you’re asking. First, you need to have a product—a book. Unlike other sorts of agents, a literary agent does not represent you on talent alone. In a sense, they represent you on a project-by-project basis. If you’re a fiction writer, this means you need to have already finished your novel. (And I mean really fucking finished it! No first drafts. We’re talking a highly polished, edited, proofread, and proofread again novel—the best product you can put together.) If you’re writing a non-fiction book, you don’t necessarily need to have the book completed. If you’ve got a killer premise and the qualifications to write the book, agents will often represent your book based solely on some sample chapters and strong book proposal. (Visit http://rusoffagency.com/non_fiction_book_proposal.htm for the basic layout of a non-fiction book proposal). If the non-fiction book is already completed, all the better.

So that’s the first step, finishing your book or book proposal. The next step is being honest with yourself and deciding whether your book is highly salable and marketable. Remember, an agent only gets paid if you do, and if the potential payout isn’t lucrative, agents probably won’t risk the time and effort to peddle your book to editors. If you think your book has big sales potential in whatever genre you write, then you’re ready to make contact with an agent and convince him or her to solicit your book.

If you find that your book fits a much smaller niche in the book market, don’t fret, all hope is not lost. There is a whole publishing world outside the big publishing houses in New York City. Small and independent presses publish some of the best books out there and they are much less concerned with selling millions of copies. For my book Umbral Visions, I decided to forgo trying to find an agent altogether, and contacted small presses directly. I made this decision because the book is comprised of two separate novellas and is pretty short in overall length—two factors that would throw the unwashed masses for a loop, and therefore would scare away big publishing houses. My strategy worked, and I was able to find a wonderful home for the book with Gypsy Shadow Publishing.

“Mass market publishing houses are into formula stories,” Charlotte Holley and Denise Bartlett of Gypsy Shadow Publishing explain. “We like something ‘different’ and engaging because it is different.” In addition, Charlotte and Denise point out that small presses are usually more responsive to authors. “We treat each author individually, and we care about their opinions. As one friend, a veteran in the battle with big print publishers, says, with a traditional publisher, you have very little control over how and where your book is presented to the public, what your cover will be like, and how much push it will get in the stores. A small press is much more likely to allow the author to have input in these areas.”

If you decide to go the route of small presses, the process is exactly the same as acquiring an agent. You need to have your finished book or proposal, and then you need to contact the publisher and convince them to ask for your book. It’s all about joining the solicited manuscript club.

Making Contact with Agents/Editors

If you mail your book to an agent or editor unsolicited, chances are your book will end up in the trash unread. To avoid that outcome, you need to first get the agent or editor interested in your book and then convince them to ask you for it. There are three main ways to do this: 1) send a query letter, 2) pitch the agent in person, or 3) have the agent come to you.

The query is the most widely used method, and we’ll discuss that in detail below. Pitching an agent or editor in person, is a rarer method, though conceivably more effective. The personal pitch usually only happens at writer’s conferences and conventions. Most such conferences and conventions cost money, but they can be quite worthwhile for new writers to attend. In addition to potentially getting an agent interested in your book, there’s a lot be learned from agents, editors, and other writers at such conventions if you keep your eyes and ears open.

Melinda J. Combs, co-author of In Service to the Mouse, attended the annual Tin House writing conference, and got a chance to pitch her personal memoir to agents. “Pitching an agent in person is invaluable because it forces you to refine and really know what your book is about,” Melinda says. “The agent will more than likely give you advice and suggestions on the spot and will ask whether or not they want it mailed to them.” Melinda’s advice for pitching an agent is: “RELAX and don't sound like a commercial. I got slammed for being too canned. Approach it like a conversation instead of a pitch; you just need to know your material well and be prepared.”

The third way of garnering the interest of an agent is to have the agent come looking for you. This is by far the rarest and toughest method. Writer Eric Scot Tryon had just such an experience happen to him after a short story of his came out the prestigious literary journal Glimmer Train. “When I got accepted to Glimmer Train, I told myself, there’s a slim chance an agent will contact you, so you BETTER have a novel finished,” Eric explains. “But to be honest, I think most of me didn’t believe I’d actually hear from an agent. I mean, c’mon, what are the odds? But sure as shit, the agent contacted me and I wasn’t ready.” Eric’s advice to new writers is to always be writing and have something ready in case the opportunity arises. “If you’ve written something awesome, something you’re proud of and are looking to publish, it’s important that you don’t stop there. Always be writing.”

The Query Letter

Assuming an agent hasn’t come looking for you and that you’re not going to be pitching agents or editors in person, your task then is to write a query letter. The query letter is essentially a pitch in the form of a professional business letter. The letter needs to do three things: summarize your book, explain why there’s a market for your book, and detail any qualifications you have as the writer.

The summary, or synopsis, should be concise and intriguing. Set-up. Hook. Resolution. Introduce your characters, not by name, but by description (e.g. “A collegiate athlete who becomes paralyzed after a horrible accident…”). Set-up the premise (“…is able to forget his debilitating condition by writing stories of a vigilante superhero…”). Hook the reader (“…but when the vigilante acts start happening in real life…”). And resolve the story (“…no one is safe from his disturbed psyche.”). That’s a fair synopsis for one of the novellas in my book Umbral Visions. You can use this basic structure to write a good synopsis for any novel or narrative non-fiction book. For a topical non-fiction book, you’ll want a synopsis that is similar in form, but focuses on the problematic issues your book explores and resolves, rather than on characters.

When discussing the marketing aspects of your book, first and foremost, state who your target audience is. Identify the genre of book you’ve written. If there are highly successful books that your book is comparable to, by all means, say so. At the same time, state why your book is different and unique within your genre. The goal is to illustrate that there is a big market for the type of book you’ve written and simultaneously show that your book has something new and fresh to offer readers in that market.

The types of qualifications you want to mention in your query letter are your 3-5 best publication credits (if you’ve been published before), any writing awards you might have received, and any personal, educational, or professional experience you have that qualifies you to write this book. Particularly in the case of non-fiction, educational and professional credentials go a long way. If you’ve written a book on quantum physics, for example, you better have a PhD in quantum physics and extensive work experience in the field, otherwise, agents and editors won’t want anything to do with your book.

For a more complete look at writing query letters, and to read an example query letter, check out Lynn Flewelling’s article on the website for the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America.

All said and done, your letter should be no longer than one page. At the end of the letter, thank the editor or agent for their time and say that you would be pleased to send your book to them if they’re interested. Sign it and send it off. Also, be sure to address your letter to the specific editor or agent you’re mailing the letter to, by name. Which brings us to our next item of business…

Finding Contact Info for Agents and Editors

There are numerous ways to find the name and address of agents/editors. The trick is to find agents/editors who represent the type of book you’ve written. It doesn’t make much sense to pitch your epic fantasy novel to an agent who only represents self-help books, for example.

The most commonly used source for finding the information you need is reference books like Writer’s Market and Jeff Herman’s Guide to Book Publishers, Editors, & Literary Agents. These books are readily available in most book stores or online, and are worth the $30 investment. In addition to providing the names and addresses of agents and editors, these books tell you what sort of books each agent/editor is looking for, names of authors they represent, and if they have any special guidelines. Some agents/editors, for example, want you to include a full synopsis of your novel or a sample chapter along with your query letter. These books also include websites (which you should always check out before querying, since the websites usually have the most up to date info), and the agent/editor’s preferred method of querying (i.e. snail mail, email, or online form).

There are also some free online sources that are fantastic. The Preditors & Editors website lists hundred of agents and rates them. Remember, agents aren’t supposed to charge upfront fees of any sort, and Preditors & Editors lets you know which agents prey on unwary writers with reading fees and hidden costs. If you’re going the route of small presses, Duotrope’s Digest is an invaluable source for finding publishers. (Duotrope’s is also a great site to find short story markets). Both Preditors & Editors and Duotrope’s Digest are run on donations, so if you opt to utilize them instead of one the expensive reference books, try to pass on the good karma and send a little money their way via PayPal.

Utilizing one of these sources, search out as many agents/editors you can find that represent the type of book you’ve written. Prioritize them, and start sending out your query letters to your top picks. Remember to individualize each query letter to a specific agent/editor, and follow any specific guidelines they might have. If you are sending your query letter by mail, make sure to include a self-addressed stamped envelope (SASE) with your query letter. This is so the agent/editor can send their response back to you. If you don’t include a SASE, you’ll probably never hear from the agent/editor. It’s fine to send out as many query letters at time as you like. I typically send them out in batches of five to ten queries, wait until I hear back, then send out another batch. Make sure to keep track of the queries you’ve sent out with some sort of log that lists the name of the agent/editor, the date you sent out your query, the date you hear back from them, and what their response was. Otherwise, you’ll forget who you’ve sent what to.

What to Expect

First thing: get used to waiting. The publishing world is slow moving. On occasion, you’ll hear back from an agent/editor within a few days or a week, but this is rare, particularly for bigger name agents/editors. More realistically, you won’t hear anything back for 1-3 months, if at all.

Rejection letters are the most common response and they typically come in the anonymous form variety. Don’t sweat it. Agents reject upwards of 90% of queries they receive. The key is persistence. Keep perfecting your query letter and keep sending it out. If your book has promise and your query letter is good, eventually you’ll get a request for your manuscript and join the “solicited” club. Sometimes an agent/editor who is interested will ask for the entire book, sometimes they’ll ask for the first several chapters first. Whatever it is, send it to them promptly. Most agents/editors prefer a printed copy in standard manuscript format, so make sure you have a clean print-out, box it neatly (don’t bind it in any way—this pisses agents/editors off!), and stick it in the mail. If you want the copy back when the agent/editor is done reading it, then you need to include return postage. In today’s age of computers and cheap printing, I find that it’s more economical to print out a new copy than include return postage so I can reuse the manuscript, and I kindly ask the agent/editor to recycle my manuscript when they’re done with it.

Typically, an agent/editor will want to have an exclusive look at your book. This means you can only send your book to one agent/editor at a time, which isn’t a big problem. If you somehow get requests from two or more agents at the same time and decide to send them all a copy of the book, it is a professional courtesy to let each of them know that other agents/editors are looking at the book too.

Once you’ve sent off your solicited manuscript, it’s al up to your book now. If the agent/editor likes it, you’re in business. If they see promise in the book, but think it needs work, they will suggest you rewrite it. This happened to me with my newest book, Dreamwielder. If they don’t think they can sell the book, they’ll say so and it’s back to the querying stage.

If you’ve contacted a publisher directly and they accept your manuscript, you’ll get a contract. Read it, take your time with it, talk to any published writers you know, and make sure it’s a good deal for you before signing it.

If an agent decides to represent your book, you’ll come to some sort of agreement with the agent. Sometimes he or she will ask you to sign a formal contract, sometimes your agreement will be verbal and less binding. In either case, the ball is now in the agent’s court. They will now go on to querying editors and publishing houses and try to get you a good contract. Again, get ready to wait, but if you make it this far, things are looking good for you. Stay persistent, and get writing your next book while you’re waiting!

What’s your Experience been like?

Finding a home for your book is a long, arduous process. I hope this guide illuminates the basics of the process, but keep in mind each person’s experience is going to be different, and I’m certain there are several aspects I neglected to mention. Please use the comment form below to share your experiences trying to find an agent or editor.

-Garrett Calcaterra

My Torrid Affair with Writing Erotica

2011-02-11T19:19:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite stories that I’ve ever written, “The Sway of the Dead,” has just come out in a new anthology at long last. But here’s the thing: it’s been released in an erotica anthology, Erotic Dreamspell. Anyone who has followed my writing career at least casually knows that this is not the first story I’ve written that’s come out in an erotica collection. In fact, if you type in my name at Amazon, three of the four titles that come up are erotica books. I’d argue that this is a gross miscategorization of the scope of my writing, and yet I’m not at all abashed to be included in the erotica genre—perhaps foolishly.

99.9% of what I write is not erotica at all. I write horror, sci-fi, fantasy, literary, and humorous fiction. I’ve even written children’s stories. I take pride in being able to write for different audiences, and no matter what I write, I always aim to explore some aspect of human conflict. Sometimes that conflict involves sex and sexuality. I hate to break it to all the prudes out there, but sex is part of being human. We make love, we fuck, we fantasize, we lust, we masturbate. All those experiences and emotions make up a huge part of the human experience. How can we not write and read about sex? It’s not smut, it’s not erotica just because there is an element of sex in a piece of fiction. My aforementioned story, “The Sway of the Dead,” is a violent dystopian zombie story. First and foremost it is a warning tale about getting caught up in the middle-class consumer rat race. The two heroes in the story have sex. The scene is not explicit, but it doesn’t dance around the deed either. It is what it is. Whether because of the unabashed sex, social critique, or the violence, this story riled up almost every magazine editor I sent it to. Most made personal written comments about how much they disliked the story, how reprehensible it was, and how inappropriate it was. It took the editor of an erotica anthology to read it with an open mind and see the story for what it is. That’s just one of the reasons I don’t shy away from the erotica label.

The publishing world has a tendency to pigeonhole writers in a specific genre, largely because it makes writers more marketable. If you know that James Patterson does nothing but vomit out detective thrillers, and you love reading detective thrillers, then you’re going to happily buy all of his books. This characteristic of the business is one of the reasons authors use pen names when they publish work with adult content. This is the marketing excuse we hear. The other—often unspoken—reason writers use pseudonyms is that here in the United States, we are still terrified to talk about sex. Popular sentiment is that it’s a deed best left unspoken, necessary to propagate the species, yet something to be shameful about. Writers, along with artists in all mediums, avoid discussing sex out of fear that they will be stigmatized and their work marginalized as pornographic trash.

I’ve written only two legitimate erotica stories. Only one has been published, and that’s “Night of the Bear,” which originally appeared in a British erotica anthology from Xcite Books called Sex & Seduction. Both erotica stories I wrote came as the result of a dare. A writer friend of mine, Melinda Combs, sent me an ad from a magazine editor looking for sci-fi erotica. I naively remarked to Melinda that any hack could write erotica, but she begged to differ and went so far as to triple-dog dare me to try it. So, I took up the challenge and wrote a sci-fi erotica piece. It was a hell of a lot harder than I thought. I sent my resultant story to the editor and she wrote back a scathing critique/rejection letter. My story was clichéd, sappy, and unbelievable, she said, and more importantly, there was not nearly enough sex to excite the reader. She was right.

Not one to accept failure, I tried my hand at it again, and this time I let my barriers down. The resultant story, “Night of the Bear,” was downright naughty and not meant for the faint of heart. Yet at the same time, it was a great story, and it turns out that’s what erotica editors are looking for. I sent the story off to a different editor, and boom, it got published in Sex & Seduction. The story has subsequently been packaged into two Kindle e-books, Aztec Gold, and Getting Waxed (which accounts for 3 of my 4 erotica titles on Amazon).

This story has caused some notoriety for me, largely because I teach at the college and high school level. When a student comes across one of these erotica books on Amazon or Goodreads, I inevitably get questioned by the student whether it’s true or not. Is that really me, their seemingly square teacher? The fist couple times I was confronted in this matter, I was abashed, but then I slowly began to realize that there is nothing to be ashamed about. “Night of the Bear” is a story to entertain adults. That’s what I tell my students, and that’s the truth of the matter. Adults deserve to be entertained too. We can’t water everything down and give it a PG rating just out of fear a kid will find out about sex. This is why I’m so glad Melinda dared me to write erotica. This is why I’m not ashamed of the erotica tag.

It’s worth asking what erotica is, really. To me, it’s fiction that’s written to arouse and titillate the reader. An adult reader. It’s sensual. In a sense it’s escapism. It allows us—the reader—to live a fantasy we could never have in real life. In my story “Night of the Bear” the protagonist takes drugs, kills demons, gets a blowjob from a vampire, and has passionate sex with a manipulative, power-hungry seductress. These are all things that I don’t do in real life. My guess is, neither do most of you. I’m not an evolutionary psychologist, but it makes sense that reading about this sort of thing is a healthy outlet. It satiates our primal need for danger and excitement that is lacking in modern society so that we can go about working our normal jobs and have satisfying—even passionate—love lives with our partner.

The literary stories I’ve written with elements of sex in them have garnered a somewhat warmer reception from editors at literary journals than from speculative fiction editors. This seems odd to me, because speculative fiction editors have generally been more open-minded to experimentation in style and content over the last few decades, but perhaps this is a misconception on my part. After all, Harlon Ellison felt compelled to put together all the Dangerous Visions anthologies to provide a forum for the racier speculative fiction stories some very well-known writers couldn’t get published elsewhere. Perhaps editors of lit mags are more open to adult content because of their smaller readership and their target audience, which tends to be more open minded in regard to sex.

Whatever the case may be, erotica editors in my experience still have been the most open-minded and honest when it comes to content that in some way challenges our sensibilities. This is why I’m not ashamed of the erotica tag.

Should I be concerned that I haven’t used a pseudonym for my erotic titles? The novel I just finished revising, Dreamwielder, is the best thing I’ve written to date and it has a legitimate shot of getting picked up by a big publisher. But it’s a far cry from erotica. It’s dark, and hopefully suspenseful at times, but my target audience is young-adult to adult. There is no sex in the novel. Is my name tainted by my erotica pieces? Because I have also chosen to write stories for an adult audience? Will publishers steer clear of me because I haven’t carved out a pigeonhole for myself?

Realistically, the answer to these questions is no, because I’m still small potatoes and nothing I’ve had published yet is significant enough for big publishers to even worry about. Still, these are good hypothetical questions to ask. Could JK Rowling publish a steamy novel aimed at an adult audience, then go back to writing YA fantasy books? I don’t know.

All I can say is that right now I wear the erotica titles as a sort of badge. Those stories represent the edginess and poignancy I like to embody in my fiction, and the editors and readers of erotica are open-minded and willing to read the types of fiction I write. This is more than I can say for the readers of wholesome fiction.

-Garrett Calcaterra

Author Ahimsa J. Kerp

2011-01-04T10:46:00.000-08:00

Ahimsa Kerp is a man not easily categorized. He can read a book faster than you can thumb through a magazine, he’s an insatiable backpacker and traveler, he has degrees in esoteric subjects like philosophy and history, he has tattoos that make D&D nerds green with envy, and he guzzles fine beers with the best of them. He’s also a writer and good friend of mine. His short story, “Turning On, Tuning In, and Dropping Out at the Mountains of Madness,” has just come out in the erotic, Cthulhu-mythos anthology, Cthulhurotica, and he’s one of my collaborators on the historic fantasy novel, The Roads to Baldairn Motte (along with Craig Comer).

2010 was a good year from Ahimsa. In addition to Baldairn Motte and his erotic short story getting picked up, he published several travel writing pieces on Matador, the Art of Backpacking, and Where I’ve Been, not to mention a flash fiction piece on The New Flesh. As you may remember, Ahimsa interviewed me a month or two ago on his Blog, Be Obscure Clearly, so I decided to return the favor and ask him some tough questions of my own. So, without further ado, here’s my exclusive interview with Ahimsa Kerp.

----------------------------

You’ve been quite productive the last seven months or so. You’ve had several travel writing pieces published, a flash fiction piece in The New Flesh, and now your story in the new anthology, Cthulhurotica. To what do you owe your recent string of success?

I don’t really know, other than that writing is getting a little more effortless. I think reading a lot and thinking a lot about the process has helped from the ground up. Just as importantly, of course, is having the time… which I had a lot of this summer.

How would you describe your Cthulhurotica piece?

Fun, I hope. Lovecraft is of course a big inspiration, but he can be dense and dreary. I wanted to take some of his elements but use them in a new way. Mashing up Nyarlathotep with some hippies seemed like a story I’d like to read—hopefully readers will feel the same way. I kind of wanted to achieve that same feeling from the story that listening to some of the trippier songs by the Beatles or Doors can get to.

Well, I think you achieved that pretty well. The hippy milieu of the story is great.

Thanks! I actually spent more than 10 hours researching the background stuff—then at least that much time trying to integrate it into the story without making it too showy. (The slang I left at unrealistic levels, but that was more for characterization purposes.)

Have you read any of the other stories yet? Is there any kinky shit going on with tentacles?

I’ve had a look at a couple, but I don’t have the physical copy yet and I’m still kind of an old-fashioned-read-on-dead-trees kind of guy. I am really excited to read them, and I have the impression that mine, sadly, is going to be one of the least sexually explicit. One of the most exciting parts of being in this anthology has been communicating with the co-authors.

I look forward to reading all of the stories. I turn out to be a big fan of the Chtulhu mythos, as well. And sex too.

The combination, I think, is one that you either are instantly interested in or instantly repulsed by. There’s really not a middle ground when it comes to sex and eldritch horrors.

Not to purposely veer away from Lovecrart, but... You’ve lived all over the world—Scotland, Australia, Korea, the United States—and you’re an avid traveler. How has experiencing so many landscapes and cultures influenced your writing and your views on life?

That’s a great question. Hmmm. I feel like my writing is highly influenced by the countries and people I’ve seen in my travels, but I’m not sure I’m able to describe or even know all the ways it does. One example, though, is that I’ve learned to make my settings more explicit. Rather than set a story in suburbia, for instance, I’ll research the hell out of a particular suburb and use that. I might not ever say where it is, but I know where it is in my head. Traveling has definitely helped me develop a sense of place in my writing.

Additionally, I think it’s the same impulse that makes me want to read, write, and travel—the thrill of discovery. That sounds wanky, but all those things are about discovering new places and new people (some admittedly more real than others).

I have you to thank for broadening my writing horizons. You introduced me to screenwriting and travel writing. To who or what do you attribute your eclectic writing tastes?

I think it comes from a combination of broad interests and a short attention span. It’s fun to learn about things, but I have to admit I tend prefer things that don’t take a whole long time. A travel article only takes a couple of hours. One could write a screenplay in a weekend. Those things are fun. But short. I have yet to finish a novel because my attention span wavers...

You’ve been writing as long as I’ve known you (15+ years), and you’ve always been an adept writer, but in the last two years I’ve noticed a drastic improvement in your writing, to the point where your work is as good as or better than most of what’s selling on book shelves. Is this something that you’ve noticed as well? Is your improvement due to a renewed focus on your craft, your skills coming to fruition after many years of hard work, or something else?

Firstly, that is a very nice thing to say and I appreciate it. I do feel that my writing is improving, though of course it has a ways to go. I sort of think my recent stories are effective (to those who think they are) because I have more life experience. In high school and college, my stories were pastiches at best, largely influenced by David Eddings and Michael Moorcock. I think good stories, regardless of genre, have to say something important, and until you’ve lived life a bit it’s hard to know what to say. (It was for me, at least.) I’m also putting more thought into my stories before I write them, other than “hmmm, a guy walking through a desert would make for a good story.”

We talked about the Cthulhurotica anthology earlier. Lovecraft’s Cthulhu mythos is more than just a passing interest for you. I haven’t seen it in person yet, but I’m told you’re getting a tattoo of the Great Cthulhu himself on your arm. How’s the inking coming along? And of all the mythical beasts out there, what inspired you to choose Cthulhu to grace your body?

You are told correctly. The tattoo is coming along really well and I’m excited to get it finished. As to why Cthulhu, I think he works for two reasons. First is aesthetically; I think he makes for a really interesting creature to portray, especially when you think how little Lovecraft actually described him. But more importantly, to me, is what he represents… the unknown, the hidden world buried beneath what we know, the alien being so vastly different that just beginning to comprehend its existence is to invite insanity. Finally, he represents water. I already have Hugin and Munin (Odin’s ravens) to represent air, and I’m thinking of eventually getting something for fire and earth. So Cthulhu, for a lot of reasons, was the right tattoo for me.

Might I suggest a balrog and... an earthworm?

One step ahead of you with the balrog, sir. And thinking of maybe an Ent for the earth, to double up on Tolkien. The only other possible fire creature would be a djinn… but he and Cthulhu might not get along.

Yes, trees would be a nice touch. So, what’s in store for you in the near future, both writing-wise and travel-wise? We have our book The Roads to Baldairn Motte coming out in the next few months, of course. Any big plans for promoting the book? Any other projects in the works?

I’m still aiming to finish my novel which pits the Roman Empire against an undead menace, but I do have a short attention span. I have several other short stories I need to finish and find homes for. I am really excited to promote Baldairn Motte—it’s a mosaic novel from a trio of unknown authors, from a tiny press sure, but I think all three of those stories are top-notch and it’s something I can really get behind. As far as balancing writing with traveling, it’s hard to get to a place where I can both travel and write. But that will be a fun challenge to face; I don’t have a specific destination in mind yet, but I can’t “not travel” like I can’t “not write,” if that makes sense.

Indeed it does. Okay, ready for the speed round portion of the interview?

Maybe… Yes!

Favorite libation?

IPA. Drinking some Deschutes Inversion as we type.

Nice. I finally got around to trying Dogfish Head 60 and 90 minute IPA. Damn tasty...

Had some of the 60 for thanksgiving. Good stuff.

Which is more likely to get played out in the coming months: zombies or Cthulhu mythos?

They’re both kind of played out... but zombies on a much more mainstream scale. With Del Toro’s Mountains of Madness set to film soon, and Cthulhu sighted on South Park, I think the Lovecraftian mythos is quickly catching up though!

It’s okay. I don’t think we have to worry about either reaching vampire status.

Sparkly vegetarian Cthulhu? I’d just kill myself.

What bands are you digging right now?

The albums I listened to at work today were The Knife, Tribe Called Quest, and Bad Company. Each brilliant in their own way. I think we are still pretty lucky with all the great bands out today: Black Keys, Broken Bells, Arcade Fire, Wolfmother, etc. It’s a far cry from the early-to-mid 2000s.

Agreed. Top 7 most influential writers for you?

Aargh, that’s a hard question. Most of all, Tolkien, for his world-building and integration of small personal struggles into an epic scope. Later, more derivative writers made everything as epic as they could. Part of Tolkien’s genius was that Sauron was just a servant, a story within a story. At one point in the late 90’s, I had read everything ever written by Michael Moorcock, and that guy was puking out a novel a night in the 70’s. I still admire his high-concept settings. Tim Powers is amazing in his ability to integrate multiple elements into a cohesive narrative. Lovecraft, obviously, for getting closer than anyone at putting eeriness and creepiness into words. Stepping slightly out of the genre, Aldous Huxley was a master of words. Graham Greene is as polished a writer as I have ever read. I can’t say a 7th because there are too any I’d have to leave out.

Okay, last question... Who’s a bigger blowhard, JK Rowling, Nicholas Sparks, or Reinaldo Garcia?

Isn’t Terry Goodkind missing from that list? I’ve actually only read one Harry Potter book, and it wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t by any means good. I realize that hundreds of millions of dollars can serve as affirmation, but I really think Rowling should be more apologetic about the tepid, derivative, and contrived prose she’s been churning out. (But I haven’t tried to read Sparks, so he may be even more of a blowhard; his opinion of himself is certainly at odds with his blasé chic-lit sounding crap).

Awesome. Thanks for taking the time to do this interview. Any last words or anything I forgot to mention that you want to plug?

Thank you for the challenging questions. I didn’t realize interviews were so hard. I don’t have anything more to add, other than that I should have mentioned Douglas Adams as an influence. And George RR Martin. Oh man I failed that question!

I better cut you off then, because you’ll just keep adding influence after influence after influence....

Oh and I just thought of several more good bands! Just kidding. That’s all I got to say. Thanks again for interview. It was fun.

You can follow Ahimsa's writing exploits on his Blog, Be Obscure Clearly.

2010 Didn't Suck

2011-01-02T18:41:00.000-08:00

I’m not big on New Year resolutions, but I do think it’s a good idea at this time of year to reflect back on the previous year, assess my writing performance, and see where I can improve. Well, shit, now that I put it that way, it sounds an awful like making New Year resolutions. Well, whatever it may be, I reread my blog post from this time last year and was reminded by how frustrated I was with my 2009 writing performance. 2010 turned out to be a much better year. I finally finished the first draft of Dreamwielder, and after sending out a couple batches of query letters, I’ve gotten a rewrite request from a big league agent. That rewrite is about ¾ of the way done as of right now and I hope to have the finalized rewrite sent off to the agent by the end of the month.

In addition to Dreamwielder, I had some good fortune with other books I wrote. After fans and friends helped my novella “The Key Ring” win the Predators & Editors Reader’s Poll award for Best Horror Short Story in 2009, the novella was published as a trade paperback and e-book along with “The Shadow” in Umbral Visions, from Gyspy Shadow Press. On top of that, The Roads to Baldairn Motte, the historic fantasy novel I co-wrote with Craig Comer and Ahimsa Kerp got picked up from L&L Dreamspell Publishing. The novel will be coming out in a few short months as a trade paperback. My other big project, This Book is Sh*t! has continued to come along, as well. I’ve accumulated a dozen more great non-fiction stories and essays about shit, and the book is on track to be finalized this Spring.

With so much of my focus on book projects, I didn’t writ much in the way of short stories this year, but the few that I did write are some of my best. “Foreclosure,” the most recent story I’ve written, already came out in the anthology Toe Tags II. The rest of work I did this year seemed to be business related, either freelance editing and ghost writing projects or personal marketing stuff like putting together a website, making a trailer for Umbral Visions, and trying to procure some readings/signings.

So, what’s in store for 2011? The aforementioned Baldairn Motte will be coming out soon, Dreamwielder and This Book is Sh*t! will hopefully net some book contracts, and I’m contemplating self-publishing a collection of all my short stories. The new band I’m in, Wheel House, is also ready to play a lot of gigs in 2011. We had our first show in December, which went great, and once we finish writing a few new songs, we should be ready to start booking shows. So yeah, I guess that’s enough reflection. I better get cracking. Here’s to a fortune-filled 2011 for everyone.

-Garrett Calcaterra

Market Square

2010-12-04T10:42:00.000-08:00

I hope this post finds everyone still more or less sane with the holidays fast approaching. Personally, things haven't slowed down much on the writing, editing, and marketing front, but I wanted to take a moment and throw up a few quick links you might want to check out.

First, you'll notice that I stuck the new trailer for Umbral Visions at the top of the blog. It's nice and creepy, just like the book, so I hope you'll take a minute to give it a watch. If you'd like to help me out with my guerrilla marketing for the book, then post the link from YouTube wherever you find fans of dark fiction: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_vy2aofAS8

Second, my friend and frequent collaborator Ahimsa Kerp did an interview with me about Umbral Visions, my band Wheel House, and writing and general. It's quite a good interview, if I'm allowed to say so, and you can find it at his blog, Be Obscure Clearly. Beyond my interview, Ahi's blog is a great site to visit for fans of fantasy and horror fiction in general. I highly recommend it.

That's all for now. Back to writing and editing. Cheers!

-Garrett Calcaterra

Buried in Books!

2010-11-09T22:30:00.000-08:00

It's been a busy last several weeks. I announced the release of the e-book version of Umbral Visions in my last post. Now, I'm happy to announce that the paperback edition of Umbral Visions is also available for purchase. The book—in both paperback and e-book formats—is available directly from the publisher and most major on-line retailers, including Amazon. It's a great book, if I do say so myself, and I hope you'll find it worthy to part with a few of your hard-earned dollars. Click on the book cover to the right to find purchasing info.

In addition to the release of Umbral Visions, I've gotten some news from a big agent on my novel Dreamwielder. The agent particularly liked the first half, but had some issues with the second half and requested revisions. While it's not exactly what I was hoping to hear (I was hoping to hear that the book was perfect, of course), it's nonetheless encouraging news, and I begrudgingly have to agree that the agent's critiques are pretty spot on. My goal is to make the changes in the next month and send the manuscript back to him.

I've also been busy working on edits for a few short stories I have coming out soon in anthologies. My short story "Foreclosure" is coming out in Toe Tags II, and "The Sway of the Dead" is coming out in Erotic Dreamspell. Toe Tags II should be out any day now, and Erotic Dreamspell will be released sometime in the next few months.

With all the busyness, I've postponed edits for This Book is Sh*t! but I am still reading submissions, so if you've got a non-fiction shit piece, please send it my way.

And as long as I'm jumping from topic to topic, I'd like to make two recommendations before I forget. 1) AMC is airing a television adaptation of The Walking Dead comic series. I've seen the first two episodes and have to say the show is pretty kick ass. 2) I just had the kids in my horror literature class read "A Toy for Juliette" by Robert Bloch. The story is tremendous. How is it that I've read so little by Bloch? How is it I didn't know that he wrote Psycho? Just goes to show, that there's always more good stuff out there to read.

-Garrett Calcaterra

Umbral Visions is here!

2010-10-09T10:54:00.001-07:00

I'm happy to announce that the e-book version of Umbral Visions is here. You can purchase the book for Kindle, iPad, your home computer, or any other e-book reader, for a paltry $4.99 (less than a stiff drink at your local watering hole!). The PDF is available directly from the publisher, the Kindle format is available from Amazon, or you can find an assortment of formats from Smashwords.com

For those of you who prefer traditional books, hold tight--the trade paper back should be available in the next week or two.

As always, thanks so much for everyone's support and encouragement. If you'd like to further help out with the success of this book, please rate and review the book at Amazon.com

-Garrett Calcaterra

Purchase Umbral Visions now:

Kindle from Amazon

PDF version from the Publisher

Multiple e-book formats from Smashwords

Work, work, work. Work, work, work.

2010-09-15T23:06:00.001-07:00

Between working on freelance book editing projects and the start of school, I've been damn busy this last month. In addition to the four creative writing high school classes I teach, I'm teaching two creative non-fiction courses at Chapman University this semester. I've got a great batch of students at both schools, and besides having gobs of papers to grade, I can't complain.

Despite this busyness, I've actually had a productive month on the writing front as well. Two stories I've been shopping around for a while found a home this month and both are available free on-line. The first, “Robbie,” is a sci-fi/horror flash fiction story. You can check it out on The New Flesh.

The second story is a longer sci-fi story called “The Lunar Resort,” and it is now available in Issue #14 of Fusion Fragment. This story is a prequel to “The Tracer Pilot,” a story which appeared in The Oregon Literary Review several years ago.

All three stories are appropriate for general audiences. Apart from some drug usage, murder, angry mobs, and tinges of near-future dystopia, there's hardly anything offensive in any of the stories.

In other writing news, I've been going through and editing the essays I've so far accepted for This Books is Sh*t! I only have a few more pieces to edit. In the meantime, I'm still looking for more submissions and looking for a new agent. Check out the book's Facebook page for more details.

The most exciting development this month, however, is the progress with my book Umbral Visions. I've gotten a first look at the cover art from Chris Turk and it looks great. What's more, the editors of Gyspy Shadow Publishing have already gotten me the edited proof of the manuscript for me to go over. Not sure on the timeline yet, but there's a good chance Umbral Visions will be coming out before The Roads to Baldairn Motte, which is due out in mid 2011.

I think that's about it. I better get going since I've got a lot of work to do to protect my phony baloney jobs. Until next month...

-Garrett Calcaterra

Sailing the Black Seas

2010-08-03T20:31:00.000-07:00

On July 27th, I got a call asking if I was available to head out for thirty days to the Gulf of Mexico and perform air testing associated with the BP oil spill cleanup effort. I used to do air sampling work full-time, and still work with my old company on occasion doing odd jobs and technical writing work, so it wasn't a matter of qualification that gave me pause. Neither was it the opportunity to see the oil spill first hand. Rather, it was the prospect of packing up and leaving my life as I know it for thirty days to go live on a barge that made the decision very difficult. After consulting with my girlfriend, family, and house mates—and getting plenty of assurance from them all that they could maintain things without me for a month—I decided it was an opportunity I couldn't pass up.

So, the next day I was flown off to New Orleans, then driven to a barge on the Intracoastal Canal. I spent the first week living on the barge at the docks waiting out Tropical Storm Andrew, then we—a crew of five workers, a cook, and myself—were towed away by a tug boat right to the epicenter of the oil spill. I can't fully explain what I witnessed out there. The sights, the sounds, the smells, even the schedule the seven of us on the barge lived, seemed to me similar to what living in a war zone must be like. The experience was at the same time both heartbreaking and awesome, but more than anything, frustrating.

The thousands of people out in the Gulf working to get that mess cleaned up are great, hard working people, and it's not on their account that the situation drove me crazy. Rather, it was how little we were able to do and the overall confusion. Whether it was a lack of organization or lack of information everyone was given, I can't say, but I felt like all the workers, vessels, helicopters, and spotter planes out there were little more than window dressing. That's just my impression, keep in mind. While I was on the barge, I was completely cut off from the outside world. No cell phone coverage. No Internet. No television or radio. Nothing. The impressions I walked away with were based solely on the gossip of other crew members and my observations, and they are certainly not reflective of the opinions of my employer, the company who subcontracted us out, or BP. In fact, I was asked not to speak to the press, nor post any pictures on-line. Hence, all I'll post here is my sole self portrait. (Note the ridiculous mustache—I had to shave off the beard in order to wear a respirator if necessary.)

I won't comment or editorialize more on the topic other than to say that it was an experience I won't ever be able to forget. The guys I worked with were great (with the exception of one particular asshole I'm not at liberty to name), and it was a one of a kind opportunity to see something in person rather than through the filtered perspective of news media. What I saw out there was so much more visceral than what we see on the news and in the papers, it made me really question the news we're exposed to these days. More significantly, on a personal level it's made me question my role as a writer. It's not as if I was unaware that the motivating force behind news journalism these days is getting ratings in order to boost profits via selling papers, selling ad space, getting commercials, etc. What surprised me was the feeling of impotence I came back with. The people I worked with down in the Gulf faced every day with an almost apathetic resignation to the fact that their livelihoods and quality of life were immeasurably degraded by the oil spill, but they didn't work less hard. As one of the guys I befriended said, “There ain't shit we can do about it, so what's the point in bitching?” The sentiment is more existential than it seems at first listen.

A couple of years back, I (re)adopted the strategy of trying to write stories with relevance to the real world—not necessarily social criticism, but stories that forced readers to look at the choices they made in their lives, personally, romantically, politically, and environmentally. Don't get me wrong, while every writer hopes his or her writing can impact readers for the better, I wasn't driven by some selfless motive to save the world. I'm not Mother Theresa. More relevant to me at this point in my career is the value in writing stories that can't be ignored, stories that editors have no choice but to publish. It's an attitude that first led me to writing, something I lost sometime while getting my Master's degree, and something I was happy to recapture these last few years. But now, after this experience in the Gulf, my confidence is shaken. I feel that I should be writing about what I saw out there, that I should offer, if not some sort of cure, at least an honest view of what's really going on. And yet I see everywhere so many other people with more power and influence than me trying do the same thing to no avail. There was a day when honest writing had an impact on the world. I'm not certain that honest writing is even discernible from the flotsam and jetsam that passes as news media and literature anymore.

A bit doomsday sounding, I know, and I apologize. I don't intend to change, if it's any solace. I won't be writing about the oil spill beyond this blog, at least not for the time being, but at the same time I don't intend to stop writing with attitude, and hopefully, with honesty. To that end, I've been re-acclimating myself back to normal life since returning. It took me about five days to get my land legs back and a bit longer to get caught up with e-mails, snail mail, and my personal relationships. I'm caught up now and am back to writing work. I sent off a slew of short story submissions, wrote a new short story, parted ways with the agent for This Book is Sh*t! (he had become too busy to actively shop around the project) and sent out new agent queries for both This Book is Sh*t! and Dreamwielder. In addition, I returned home from the Gulf to find some good news: Gypsy Shadow Press has offered me a contract to publish Umbral Visions, the book with my two novellas, “The Key Ring” and “The Shadow.” More news to come as the book goes into pre-production.

And for me, I look again for a renewed purpose to write with honesty, especially if it hurts.

-Garrett Calcaterra

All Work and No Play...

2010-06-20T19:15:00.000-07:00

Yikes, it's been nearly two months since my last post. Between finishing up the semester of teaching, getting grades in, sneaking in a quick vacation (3 days is all), and getting to work on a freelance book editing project, I've sort of lost track of time. Hopefully, I haven't forgotten how to write.

Not much has happened on the writing front since my last post. I managed to write one flash fiction piece for an anthology, and tried my hand at sports journalism—that's it. The flash piece came out fine, I suppose, and the sports article came out good {I think), but I definitely learned that I'm not cut out for journalism. News publications expect quick turn around times and a lot of articles. I'm a bit too deliberate and slow in my writing, it turns out, and with all my other commitments, I just couldn't keep up. For what it's worth, here's the link to the one article I wrote: RON ARTEST THE ONLY PLAYER SACRAMENTO KINGS FANS CAN ROOT FOR IN FINALS? It's a bit dated now and geared towards Kings fans, so take it or leave it.

That's it on the writing front. No new bites from agents on Dreamwielder, the agent for This Book is Sh*t! hasn't had any luck either, and I've done nothing for the last month except do editing work on someone else's book. It's sort of depressing really, and it's gotten me thinking about how I make money (it's not with my own writing, let me tell you! [at least, not yet]). Teaching is my bread and butter during the school year, and I supplement that with freelance writing and editing work, and some random handyman gigs here and there. Then, in the summer, it's whatever I can scrape up. None of it pays well and I'm usually scraping by one paycheck or invoice to the next, but the bigger problem is that teaching writing and doing writing/editing work for other people sort of burns out my writing fuse. I love writing, but after spending ten hours on the computer copy editing, I certainly don't want to spend another few hours working on my own stuff.

I see how easily it is for so many writers to slowly fizzle out. First it's, “Oh jeez, I haven't written in a week,” then before you know it a month has passed, then two, then three, and all of a sudden you haven't written in a year or more because you've gotten so bogged down with lesson planning and grading and copy editing and writing soulless web copy for someone's website.

Don't take this to mean I'm letting myself get caught in that trap. I'm merely saying how easy it is to fall into. I do have half a mind, however, to ease up on the freelance work and resort to some sort of menial labor to make ends meet. The teaching isn't bad as long as that's the only mentally strenuous task I have besides working on my own writing. The editing and copy writing, though, is too close to my own work I want to be doing. I'm not adverse to working hard, but when the work I do for a living makes the writing I do on my own feel like work, then I've got a problem.

Wow. It seems much clearer now that I've gotten it all down on paper. I bid you good day, copy writing and editing.

Ditches, lawns, and unpainted walls, watch yourself: I'm on my way!

-Garrett Calcaterra

On the Cusp...

2010-04-28T20:58:00.000-07:00

It's been an exciting month. As I mentioned in my last post, I've been hunting for agents for both Dreamwielder and This Book is Sh*t! After an initial quick response and request for sample chapters from one of my top agent picks for Dreamwielder, all's been quiet on that front. However, I did find an agent to shop the This Book is Sh*t! proposal to book publishers in New York, and even more exciting, the Baldairn Motte book I worked on with Craig Comer and Ahimsa Kerp has been picked up by L&L Dreamspell. The three of us just inked the contract, and if all goes according to schedule, The Roads to Baldairn Motte will be coming out as a trade paperback and multi-format e-book in the second quarter of 2011!

Needless to say, the three of us are stoked. The Roads to Baldairn Motte is an atypical novel in that it has multiple story lines written by three different authors—none of which are exactly famous in the fantasy fiction field—and we knew it would be a tough sell to get a publisher to take a chance on it. The fact that L&L Dreamspell has decided to publish it speaks to how good the book is—or at least I like to think so. Craig and Ahimsa both wrote some of their best work ever for this project, and I'm hopeful that my story doesn't disappoint either. You can be sure I'll post cover art and more information about the book as we get closer to the release of the book.

In the meantime, I'm hopeful that the agent for This Book is Sh*t! finds a taker amongst the big publishers in New York, and that I can finally get Dreamwielder into the hands of agents and editors as well. To be part of three books that are on the cusp of like this is very exciting and validating. Don't worry, though, I'm not letting it get to my head. I'm still writing—trying to bang out some short pieces—and I've been playing a lot of music too. Mandy Burke, Pete Vander Pluym, Eric Tryon, and myself have informally started a band of sorts. Right now we're just jamming mostly, but we've already written several original songs. It's a good creative outlet that doesn't involve sitting on the computer writing in solitude, so yay for that. Writers don't have to be hermits all that time, right?

-Garrett Calcaterra

Taking Care of Business

2010-03-27T19:25:00.001-07:00

Well, it's been well over a month and a half since my last post, but I can honestly say I've not been idle. After finishing the first draft of Dreamwielder, I needed to take some time away from it for two purposes: 1) to give my peer reviewers a chance to read the damn thing, and 2) to give myself some distance so I could come back and look at the book with more objectivity.

So during that time I banged out the book proposal for This Book is Sh*t!, sent out the first batch of query letters to agents for This Book is Sh*t!, drew my map for Dreamwielder, and drafted my query letter for Dreamwielder. By then, the feedback was in from my reviewers and I turned my attention to revisions. There weren't any catastrophic problems with the first draft, and I actually enjoy the revision phase, so it went pretty fast. Most of the revision work consisted of fleshing out character motivation, ironing out some dialogue, and adding in scenes that were previously only summarized. All in all, I added about 3,500 new words to the book (knocking it up to 86,500 words), and the resulting product is 100X better. I'd like to officially thank my reviewers: Ahimsa Kerp, Eric Tryon, Mandy Burke, Craig Comer, my Aunt Linda, and my mother, Shirley Phillips. The critiques and suggestions they offered were critical in taking the book to the next level.

With the revisions done, the business of selling the book kicks in. I sent out query letters to my top two literary agents last weekend: one requested the first 30 pages (based on my query letter), and the other passed (based on my query letter and 10 page sample). Hopefully, the first agent will like the 30 pages and request the rest of the manuscript, but in the meantime I'll be sending out letters to the next 3-5 agents on my wish-list. I've gone through this process once before, when I finished writing my first novel several years ago, and I can tell you this process is what weeds out writers with the stomach for getting published from those who don't. It's an agonizingly slow process that typically results in the invalidation of two years of work, a loss of self-esteem and self-worth, and a new career path, probably something along the lines emptying porta-potties at the county fairgrounds. I exaggerate only a little.

With the first novel I wrote, I sent out in the neighborhood of 30 query letters to agents and publishers. Only two of the letters resulted in a request for the manuscript, and both of those two editors passed on the book. At the time, I was highly discouraged, particularly by the fact that 28 of those agents and editors never even looked at the book—I was getting rejections on my query letter because I had never had anything published before.

I know the game much better now, however, and think I have a more legitimate shot of getting Dreamwielder published. For one thing, I have over 25 publishing credits to my name now for short stories, articles, and so on, so I look much better on paper to agents and editors, and that means they'll be more willing to actually read the manuscript. Secondly, Dreamwielder is way the fuck better than my first novel, to put it bluntly. There's good reason those two editors passed on my first book. I know that now. I can honestly say that Dreamwielder is of publishable quality and I can't say that of my first book.

Having said all that, when I heard back from the first agent this week requesting to see the first 30 pages of Dreamwielder, I was nervous like I haven't been nervous for a long time. I'm more or less indifferent to rejection letters from magazine editors these days, but I was working on Dreamwielder for a year and a half, so I have a good deal more invested in it, and to get past the first hurdle—to have someone read the query letter and actually request to see the book—was awesome, but at the same time it now puts the book to the test. It's sort of like auditioning to be a nude figure model, you know? And now that I think of it, if this book goes nowhere, maybe being a nude figure model is better than pumping turds at the fairgrounds. If you know anyone hiring, let me know.

-Garrett Calcaterra

Up Yours, Chapter 32!

2010-02-08T20:01:00.000-08:00

I am finally, finally done with the first draft of Dreamwielder. The climatic chapter was a beast to write. I spent damn near 20 hours on the single chapter alone, including one grueling 13-hour stint Saturday night where I nearly made it to the end, but fizzled out.

I make a habit of emailing myself the novel manuscript every time I add to it or make significant changes (just to make sure I have a back-up copy), and here's the transcript of my e-mail to myself when I finally crapped out early Sunday morning:

from Garrett Calcaterra

to gcalcaterra

date Sun, Feb 7, 2010 at 5:46 AM

subject Dreamwielder

mailed-by gmail.com

Message:

Fuck. 32... alolst

-me

Attch: Dreamwielder.doc 995K

Ahh, chapter 32... that was the bitch chapter I was stuck on. “Alolst,” I can only assume was supposed to be “Almost,” and I believe “Fuck” was the expression of my disappointment at still not being done. I was a little drunk, perhaps, and definitely delirious and exhausted (you'll kindly note the time of the message was 5:46 AM). I didn't even manage to make it under the covers before passing out, but I crawled my ass out of bed only four hours later because I kept having dreams about the damn chapter. By 10 AM I had brewed up a pot of coffee and was back at it. Four hours later it was done (and just in time to watch the Super Bowl!).

It still hasn't completely settled in yet that I'm done, but I printed off a copy and seeing a nearly three-hundred page manuscript printed out gives it much more of a sense of realness. Anyhow, here's some stats I've been pondering since finishing:

Total length: 83,000 words

Manuscript length on January 15, 2010: 39,200 words

Official starting date of writing: June 2008

Months to complete first draft: 20

The crazy thing to me is that more than half of the book was written in the last month, whereas the first half was spread out over 19 months. Egads, is all I have to say. What the hell took me so long? In any case, I'm glad the draft is finally done. There's still more work to do, of course. I have several family members and close writer friends who will be reading it and giving me feedback, and then starts the revision process, the whole literary agent search, and all the business end of trying to publish a book.

That's all for now. I'm pooped. Until next time...

-Garrett Calcaterra

I'm Somebody!

2010-02-01T10:03:00.000-08:00

It's official: "The Key Ring" was voted Best Horror Short Story of 2009 in the Preditors & Editors Readers Poll! Thanks to everyone who voted and passed on the word to others. I have to say, this is way better than just being in the phone book.

Anyhow, I'm hoping to get "The Key Ring" published in a stand alone book with another novella I wrote a while back, "The Shadow." The book is tentatively titled Umbral Visions, and I'm sending out query letters as we speak. I'll be sure to make it known if I get any bites.

In the meantime, I'm finishing up work on Dreamwielder and am still taking submission for This Book is Sh*t! I have accepted about six non-fiction pieces for the poop anthology so far and will begin searching for a publisher as soon as I wrap up Dreamwielder (hopefully by the end of next weekend).

That's all for now. I'm off to send out those query letters and prep for my awesome Zombies in Film & Literature class I teach this afternoon.

Thanks again and cheers!

-Garrett Calcaterra

Mutterings at 3 AM after ten days straight of writing...

2010-01-25T02:57:00.000-08:00

Well, I gave it one hell of an effort (as far as these things are quantifiable). I had hoped to finish the first draft of my novel, Dreamwielder, during this week off from teaching, but it turns out my novel is going to be a good deal longer than I anticipated. I wrote every day, including three excessively long binge sessions (two of which were matched minute for minute by my buddy Eric Tryon), and cranked out an impressive 36,000 words in ten days. It's not quite Stephen King numbers, but pretty good for me. Especially considering the novel was only sitting at 39,193 words when I picked it up last Friday. It's even more impressive considering I only wrote forty some thousand words of new original material in all of last year combined. The current running total for my novel is 75,091 words, and I have two more chapter to write... I think.

To be perfectly honest, I think the last few chapter are rushed, and I will probably go back to the beginning of the novel to run through the entirety of it before writing the finale. It's a little disappointing to not be finished, but I can't be sad. I'm close, and there was always much work to be done in the revision phase anyhow.

So, that's that. I'll have more news soon, but I'm a bit too delirious at the moment. I'll just say that it looks as if everyone's votes have put my story "The Key Ring" into first place for the Preditors & Editors reader's poll for best horror short story, and also put my story "The Missionary" in contention for print publication in Golden Visions. Thank you all so much for your support and votes. I'll let you know more soon enough when I hear the official voting results, and I will also update everyone on the This Book is Sh*t! project.

Until then... here's me passing out.

-Garrett Calcaterra

I need your votes!

2010-01-13T11:16:00.000-08:00

I'm not usually such a big cheerleader for myself, but my novella "The Key Ring" is in the running for the Preditors & Editors award for best horror short story. It's a reader's poll, so that means readers decide by voting.

So give me a V! Give me an O! Give me a T! Give me an E! Vote, vote, vote! I'm looking to package "The Key Ring" with my novella "The Shadow" as a stand alone book, and winning this award would certainly make publishers take more notice, so spread the word. Pwetty pwease?

You can vote here (scroll down to "K" for "Key Ring"):

http://www.critters.org/predpoll/shortstoryh.shtml

And incidentally, Arkham Tales, the publisher, just got bought out by Leucrota Press, so the story has moved to a new website. You can find "The Key Ring" in Issue #2, downloadable here:

http://arkhamtales.leucrotapress.com/?page_id=245

Thanks!

-Garrett Calcaterra

2009: Totally Uninspiring

2010-01-03T22:47:00.000-08:00

Here's my 2009 Writing Totals

New short stories, non-fiction articles, and screenplay shorts written: 7

New Chapters for Dreamwielder written: 9

Total word count of new writing: 45,500

Short story and non-fiction article submissions sent out: 105

Acceptances: 6 (2 print, 4 on-line)

Number of hair-brain ideas scrapped before coming to fruition: 4,359 (estimated)

Dollars spent on liquor and beer: I don't want to know

All in all, a sub par year. I blew by my self-imposed deadline for finishing Dreamwielder and have failed to keep up pace with a highly successful 2008 in which I wrote, submitted, and published way more.

I bid you good day, 2009! Here's to a better 2010 for everyone.

-Garrett Calcaterra

Hot Sh*t!

2009-11-29T23:35:00.000-08:00

Yes, yes, I realize it's been a while since I last posted a blog entry. What can I say, I've actually been busy, largely with non-writing related matters, but I have managed to get a fair amount of writing work done too. Dreamwielder is coming along nicely. I had the week off from teaching over Thanksgiving and managed to bang out a few new chapters. If I keep it up, I'm still on pace to finish the first draft by the new year, so that's encouraging.

Pete Vander Pluym and I finally finished work on “Groundwater,” the song I mentioned in a previous post, which was penned for the Dark Days project. It came out about as good as I could have hoped considering it was recorded at my home “studio.” The song is super dark, a little psychedelic, and a whole lot of baddass. If you'd like to check it out (along with new and better mixes of “Sweet Natured Woman” and “Mwaah!”) then go to http://myspace.com/theentropyaffair

Lastly, I'd like to announce that I will be editing a new book, tentatively titled This Book is Shi*t. Let me first describe where the idea came from (and perhaps this will give you a little insight as to where how I got such a warped imagination and sense of humor). Following Thanksgiving dinner at my aunt and uncle's place, I was sitting around chatting with my father, aunt, uncle, and a few cousins, and we started exchanging stories involving embarrassing bowel movements (other families do this too, right?). We had such a varied collection of shitty stories that my dad jokingly suggested we put together a book. After some consideration, I decided it was, in fact, a pretty good idea.

So, consider this a call for submissions. If you have a funny, true story about poop, write it up and send it my way. You can be the pooper, the poopee or merely a poop observer in the story—I don't care, as long as it's funny. I'm looking for stories in the 500 – 2,000 word range, but I'm flexible on that if the story is good. The stories, as I said, should be true, but that doesn't mean they should be boring. Use good story telling techniques and make it funny, damnit. I'll pick the best pieces (the crème of the crap, dare I say?) and once we have 20-30k words total, I'll see if I can't hunt down a proper publisher. Worse case scenario, I'll self-publish the book through Lulu.com or another POD publisher as trade paperback so it can be purchased online. I can't afford to pay advances to any writers, but all writers will receive a by-line and writers' royalties will be split evenly amongst the contributors (if the thing actually sells and manages to make any money).

Send your shit stories to gcalcaterra(at)gmail(dot)com either as a Open Office attachment, Word attachment, or in the body of an e-mail. I'll stay open to submissions until we have enough stories to fill the book. If you have any questions, jet over to my facebook page and check the discussion board: http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?topic=11383&uid=112472966300

Thanks, and have a craptastic day!

-Garrett Calcaterra

What You Are

2009-10-25T18:28:00.000-07:00

I've finally got back to writing new chapters on my novel, Dreamwielder. I had a decent writing weekend and am over the 30,000 word mark (total, not for the weekend), which by my estimation is about half way there. I like where things are going with the book and think I'm still on pace to finish my first draft by the new year, but I'm admittedly too optimistic for my own good. Be that as it may, my only major issue right now is a few of my character names. I've workshopped early chapters of the novel with The Inklings II and they had problems with two names in particular: 1) Thedric Fearaghast, which is too on the nose for my main bad guy, and 2) Daeira, which is a cool name, but sounds too close to diarrhea. If you have any suggestions, feel free to make them here or join in on the discussion board at my Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/writer.GarrettCalcaterra

That's about the only thing new on the writing front, but one thing that's been my mind on a lot is the issue of finding a marketing niche as a writer. Corey Beason, a fellow writer and member of The Inklings II, forwared on the link to this article about how science fiction is so often marginalized: http://sffmedia.com/books/science-fiction-books/417-why-science-fiction-authors-just-cant-win.html It specifically discusses how writers like Margaret Atwood purposely shun the tag of being a SF writer because they want to be considered “real” writers with literary merit.

I certainly don't like being marginalized as a writer, but on the other hand, many genre writers do quite well because they have a built-in audience base. The whole thing has got me thinking about whether I'm going about this writing business in the correct manner. Fantasy, horror, and SF are certainly the mainstays of my writing portfolio, but I like branching out to write other things as well. The most recent short story I wrote is nothing if not literary. Much of the flash fiction I write is literary. I've written erotica. Children's stories. Screenplays. Music reviews. Nonfiction feature articles. In fact, the next book I'm contemplating writing is a nonfiction travel writing book.

I really feel that writing in different styles and genres keeps me motivated and helps me improve as writer. Furthermore, I'm very much of the mind that I shouldn't put all my eggs in one basket. Diversify, diversify, diversify, is how the saying goes, right? Am I off base here with my strategy? As a writer, can I only hope to succeed commercially if I carve out a brand for myself in one specific genre? Are readers really so fickle that they won't read anything from you if you write in different genres? Are there any writers out there who have successfully crossed over and written in multiple genres (without using pseudonyms)?

I certainly don't know, but I'm of the mind to keep writing what I want. Ultimately, I can't worry about things like getting published and finding commercial success if I don't first write something that's good, and my only hope of doing that is writing something I'm excited and passionate about.

Get Back

2009-10-04T23:06:00.000-07:00

Well, September up and disappeared like a fart in the wind. Number of blog entries written: zero. Not good, I know, but I am getting back on track with my fiction. I've finished going through the first 100 pages of Dreamwielder, made all my editing marks, and I will begin—this week, I swear—making changes and picking up where I left off over three months ago. One of the writing groups I'm in, The Inklings II, met last weekend and we workshopped a few chapters from the novel. Apart from some minor complaints, all the feedback was positive, particularly in regard to the omniscient narrative, which is my biggest concern at this point. So my goal to finish the first draft by the new year is still intact and I'm pretty stoked about getting back to writing.

To get warmed up and back into fiction mode, I wrote a new short story last week. It's tentatively titled “Choose Your Own Romance,” and I sort of ripped the premise off from a student of mine who wrote a choose your own adventure story for a 2nd person POV assignment in my Flash Fiction class. My story is drastically different, but still, I wouldn't have thought of it without reading my student's story, so thanks, Zach! I workshopped the story tonight with my other writing group, The Soggy Biscuits, and the feedback was good, so after making a few cosmetic changes I'll be sending it off to magazines to see if I can't find a home for it.

In other writing news, two of my flash fiction pieces came out online since my last post. “And the Winner is...” came out in Zygote in My Coffee a month or so back, and “The Missionary,” a sci-fi flash fiction piece, came out just last week in the online edition of Golden Visions. You can find links to both stories in the sidebar to the right under “Publications.”

On the screen writing front, my friend and collaborator Pete Vander Pluym has decided to shelve production of Dark Days, which Eric Tryon and I had written the screenplay for. After budgeting out the project, it proved to be too expensive to shoot for a short film, and Pete is now moving forward with developing a feature length movie. It's a little disappointing, of course, to have the project shelved, but it was a good writing experience and one thing I've learned is that old projects have a way of coming back to life later down the line, so we might yet see some incarnation of Dark Days in the future.

Along those lines, Pete and I have been collaborating on a new song, “Ground Water,” that was intended for the movie soundtrack. We will be recording the song shortly, and we have half-joked around that we'll write the music for a rock opera based around the Dark Days story. Who knows? Weirder things have happened.

In other music related news, I've been helping singer/songwriter Mandy Burke with recording some new demo tracks. My role has been that of producer (I use that term loosely, mind you) and laying down some bass lines. It's cool to be helping out on someone else's project, and I hope to maybe work on some collaborative song writing projects with Mandy in the future, as her style is quite different from mine and it might result in some cool cross genre tunes.

I think that's about it. I haven't been reading anything new, haven't been to any conferences, or experienced any eye-opening events to write about, so I guess I'll call it good and get back to writing Dreamwielder. Until next time, here's to us all getting back to it, and being productive.

-Garrett Calcaterra

Lord of the Procrastinators

2009-08-31T00:24:00.000-07:00

The summer has ended and school is here. Wha' happen!? It all went too fast, like it always does. I didn't get the writing done I wanted to, I didn't get all the reading done I wanted to, and I certainly didn't get all the traveling in I was hoping to. But such is life, I suppose, and there were some unexpected surprises in there that I'm pretty happy about, so I can't really complain.

I will only be teaching at the Orange County High School of the Arts this term and most of the classes I've taught before. I'm hoping this means I'll have more time to write, but that remains to be seen. The only new class I'll be teaching this term is an author study class on J.R.R. Tolkien and that has dominated most of my summer reading and research. I can't think of a better way to be humbled as a writer than by learning about Tolkien. The guy, no doubt, was a genius. He could read and write dozens of languages, many of them extinct, he was an Oxford don, he helped write a dictionary, and of course, he wrote one of the most famous pieces of literature of all time in The Lord of the Rings. I think any writer who has tried his or her hand at fantasy fiction is probably daunted by the breadth of scope and epic brilliance of The Lord of the Rings (any writer who isn't daunted is either an egomaniac or an idiot, probably both). Tolkien had an amazing imagination and the mythology he developed to explain the origins of his created languages—which eventually became The Silmarillion—was so pervasive in his mind that he couldn't help but set the stories he wrote into the world he created. I've yet to see a fictional world by any other writer that has come even close to the complexity and depth of Tolkien's Eä and Middle Earth.

So yeah, I feel pretty small and insignificant in comparison, but there are a few encouraging things to take from Tolkien's life. For one thing, he was a chronic procrastinator when it came to writing. It took him twelve years to write The Lord of the Rings (granted, he wrote a lot of it by hand and it was over 1,000 pages long). For another thing, he was a little insecure about his writing and might not have published The Lord of the Rings if it weren't at the urging and encouragement of his publisher and friends like C.S. Lewis. So the guy was at least partially human and that makes me feel a little better.

Although I am in the process of writing my own fantasy novel, Dreamwielder, I am taking pains to try and veer from the path Tolkien blazed for fantasy writers over fifty years ago. My story is much less epic in nature in it is not so clearly a tale of pure good vs. pure evil. In addition, whereas Tolkien's work was very much a fictional mythology for the ancestral inhabitants of the British Isles, I see my own novel very much as an American fantasy.

The one area where I am taking a page from Tolkien, is with his narrative voice. As C.S. Lewis said in his review of the book, The Lord of the Rings is a heroic romance. Its formal prose and conspicuous, omniscient narrative voice is a stark contrast to what was being published at the time. This was the era of Hemingway's minimalist style, Faulkner's stream of consciousness, and the shocking first person narrative of Nabokov's Lolita, and more than one critic took issue with Tolkien's almost archaic form of writing. Today, it seems to me that the conspicuous, omniscient, third-person narrator is almost entirely gone from literature with the exception of in children's fiction. Today's fiction, especially genre fiction, is dominated by either first person narratives, limited third-person narratives (i.e. limited to one character's point of view), or what's called “best-seller point of view” which is essentially a limited third-person POV that jumps around from one place or time as necessary to advance the plot. Maybe I'm crazy, but goddammit I am writing my novel in a very conspicuous, very omniscient narrative to try and capture the feel of the heroic romance. There are POV changes within the same chapters and—fuck it—I'm not even using section breaks to denote the POV changes.

I haven't gotten back to writing yet (like I swore to do in my last post), but I have gone back over the first few chapters of my manuscript and I think it works. Who knows, I might change my tune after the first draft is done or when an agent or publisher waves money in my face, but for now I'm pretty determined this is the right type of voice for this story. If Tolkien had anything, it was persistence and conviction, and at the very least, I can take that from him.

There's not much else to mention in the way of writing news. I misread when my flash fiction piece comes out in Zygote in My Coffee. The piece should actually be out any day now, not back in early August like I initially stated. Other than that, there's nothing too noteworthy. I've got all my unpublished stories and articles out for consideration with editors, the Dark Days script I'm writing with Eric Tryon is more or less finalized until we get to the live readings, and there still have been no bites from publishers for Baldairn Motte. School starts tomorrow, though, and I'm confident that'll remotivate me to get back to work. Here's to it. Cheers.

-Garrett Calcaterra

Welcome to the Machine

2009-08-05T23:32:00.000-07:00

Several years ago I was swearing up and down that MySpace was a juvenile waste of time and that I'd never join up. Shortly thereafter, I joined up. I was right, of course. MySpace is juvenile and a monumental waste of time, but so are most things on the Internet and, besides, I allegedly created my account to be a homepage for my writing career, so why not? I solaced myself by insisting that was as far as it would go. When friends started joining Facebook a year or so later, I said to them that Facebook could go to hell and die. I certainly didn't need to be part of two social networking sites. Yeah, that time I held out for about a month before joining.

Considering my lousy track record at avoiding on-line conformity, it should come as no surprise then that I'm now writing this blog. This from a guy who up to a few months ago was still ranting that blogs are pointless. Oh well, a guy is allowed to have a change of heart, right?

Despite my previous railing against blogs, I hope this particular blog does actually have a point, even it is an entirely self-serving one. Here's my thoughts for the purpose of this blog:

1) Like many writers, I am a notorious slacker. I set grandiose goals and deadlines for myself and rarely meet those deadlines. I figure if I use this blog to publicly announce my goals, then maybe it'll hold my feet to the fire, so to speak, and I'll actually be more diligent. Consider it an experiment, if nothing else.

2) If I commit myself to posting a new blog entry at least once every two weeks, I'll at least keep my writing chops somewhat honed. In addition to the fiction and screen-plays I write, I like trying my hand at non-fiction articles and travel-writing and I suspect a blog can be a fertile breeding ground for new non-fiction ideas.

3) There is an off-chance that someone other than my parents has a passing interest in my writing. If any such people exist, this is the place where they can come to learn about new publications I have coming out as well as the projects I'm working on and shopping around.

So, let's get started. Number 1: my goals. Right now I'm finishing up a large book-editing project for another writer and I haven't looked at my own writing in two months are more. I hope to remedy that soon and get back to writing my own book, a dystopian high-fantasy/steampunk novel tentatively titled Dreamwielder. The book is entirely outlined and I've got about 100 pages written thus far. My goal is to get back to writing by the end of August so as to gain some momentum before September rolls around and I start teaching classes again. I'd like to sustain that momentum through the semester and have a working first draft of the novel done before Winter Break. There I said it, now I just have to do it.

Number 3: Upcoming publications and active projects. (Yes, I'm aware I skipped number 2. I'll get there...) As of tomorrow (August 6), I should have my flash fiction story “And the Winner is...” coming out in the on-line publication Zygote in My Coffee. The story is an unwholesome, hopefully funny, little piece that'll fit right in with the irreverent nature of the webzine. This publication is the second of three flash fiction pieces I sold this summer. The third comes out in October, I believe, and it sort of marks the end of the nice little stockpile of short fiction pieces I had accumulated and was sending out these last few years to editors. Incidentally, this is the reason I pulled all of my short fiction pieces from my MySpace page. Nearly all of them have been published or are pending publication now, and enough of them are available for free on-line that I don't feel it's necessary to keep them posted on MySpace .

Let's see, what else? Fellow writer Eric Tryon and I continue to collaborate on writing a script for a short horror movie that is slated to be filmed this upcoming winter by film maker Pete Vander Pluym. I think we are on revision twenty or so now, and we're both beginning to realize that short scripts need to be much tighter than full-length feature scripts. The other collaborative project I've been working on, The Roads to Baldairn Motte, is more or less wrapped up now. Ahimsa Kerp, Craig Comer, and I have all finished the separate novellas and mini-stories that make up this historical-fantasy mosaic novel, and Craig is in the process of spearheading our effort to find a publisher. It's a fairly unique type of novel, so it's not going to be an easy sell. The writing and stories are great, though, and I'm hoping some small publisher out there will give it a shot.

And lastly, number 2: some writing miscellanea. I know Comic-Con is two weeks gone now, but I still have some lingering thoughts after attending my first ever comic convention. In one of the panels I attended, DJ MacHale (author of the Pendragon series of fantasy books) was asked if his characters ever seemed to take on a life of their own and he finds himself having to rethink his plots while writing. MacHale acted almost offended, and spouted off that any writer who let that happen was a horrible planner and that, by god, he was the boss of his characters and they would stay in line with his master plan. This seemed rather disingenuous to me. I plan and outline as much as the next writer, but the fact of the matter is, as much as you plan and think you know your characters at the outset, those characters don't become real until the writing process actually starts. I think good writers are flexible and allow their characters to grow and develop as the story grows. This requires rewriting and revision, of course, but that's all part of the writing process. I've not read anything from MacHale and I don't mean to criticize him prematurely, but I have a strong suspicion that his characters might come across as flat and contrived. Anyone that's read his stuff, please weigh in on the matter and let me know what you think.

In stark contrast MacHale, I saw Ray Bradbury speak the following day at Comic-Con and was duly impressed. Bradbury is 89 now, in a wheelchair, and more than a little kooky, but he's still got fire left in him. When a high schooler came up to the mic and asked him what advice he had for aspiring writers, Bradbury went off for about ten minutes. He spoke passionately about how you have to let your characters grow and become real during the writing process. To illustrate his point, he said that he didn't write Fahrenheit 451, but rather that Clarisse, the little girl at the beginning of the book, wrote it and that the whole thing started as a conversation between Clarisse's character and Leonard Meade, the protagonist from his short story “The Pedestrian.” Bradbury has a penchant for over-romanticizing the writing process and giving his muse all the credit, but I have to say, he seemed much more genuine than MacHale and a helluva lot more inspiring.

Another thing Bradbury talked about was his love for comics. He credits comics for teaching him to read and understand stories long before he could ever read words. He's been a huge proponent of comics forever and even argued during his talk at Comic-Con that comics should be used as educational tools for pre-kindergarten students. Might seem crazy to some, but I'm not entirely convinced he's off base. Another of the panels I attended was specifically focused on using comics as a teaching tool. It was moderated by three university professors and they all argued that studying comics is not any different than studying cinema.

I never really had any exposure to comics until this last school year when I decided to learn about them and teach a course on comic book script writing. I realized while doing my research that I had no idea how to read comic books. After reading several books and articles on the history of comics, sequential art, and visual story telling—including this great article on how to read graphic novels written by a librarian: http://www.hbook.com/pdf/articles/mar06_rudiger.pdf —I realized that the comic is a unique form of story telling that actually dates further back than cinema. I'm certainly not well-read in the realm of graphic novels and comics, but from the modest sampling I've read thus far, I have to agree with Bradbury and the profs who were arguing for their usage in education. One of my favorite graphic novels so far is The Walking Dead, written by Robert Kirkman. I've only read the first two volumes so far, but in my opinion the writing and character development is as good, if not better, than anything you'll find on TV or at the movies these days. Plus it has zombies, which is always a plus (although, I have to admit, I fear zombies are getting over-saturated in popular culture at the moment...).

Well, this is probably already too long for your typical blog entry, so I'll quit my yammering. For those interested in following this blog, I'll be posting it both at http://garrettcalcaterra.blogspot.com/ and on MySpace at http://www.myspace.com/gcalcaterra If you have any thoughts, comments and suggestions are always welcome.

Until we meet on the machine again,

Garrett Calcaterra